21+ times a dad hilariously ruined his young son’s jokes with facts
14.
Son: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the loo?
Me: Pterodactyls no longer exist, and even if…
Son: [sadly] Its P's silent.— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) August 22, 2015
15.
Son: Why was the lion fat?
Me: Well, if he was in a zoo, maybe he was overfed. In the wild, he…
Son: [sadly] 'Cos he swallowed his pride.— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) April 19, 2015
16.
Son: Why did it take pirates ages to learn the alphabet?
Me: The education system back then was…
Son: [sadly] 'Cos they spent years at C.— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) May 10, 2015
17.
Son (7): Who designed Noah's ark?
Me: Hang on. *googles* According to Genesis, God gave Noah instructions for…
Son: [sadly] An ark-itect.— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) July 27, 2015
18.
Son: What birds can lift the most?
Me: Hang on. *googles* Well, eagles can carry up to four times their own body wei…
Son: [sadly] Cranes.— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) October 1, 2015
19.
Son: Why do giraffes have long necks?
Me: I'll find out. *googles* Giraffes' necks allow them to reach…
Son: [sadly] Cos their feet smell.— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) November 26, 2014
20.
Son: Where do sheep get their hair cut?
Me: Not hair. Sheep have wool. A sheep shearer removes it by…
Son: [sadly] At the baa baa shop.— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) October 13, 2015
21.
Son: What do cows eat for breakfast?
Me: Hang on a sec. *googles* Farmers often use corn and soy as a base for their animal feed. These protein-rich grains help bring cows to market weight faster, and, because they’re cheaper than other feed options, they…
Son: [sadly] Moosli.— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) November 25, 2018
With a dad like that, who needs enemies? Of course,we know he’s just kidding really, and this photo proves it.
As a bonus, these five jokes will either get you into the festive mood, or kill it – we’re not quite sure which.
Son: What do elves learn at school?
Me: Elves don't exist, my love. They are supernatural creatures. They originated, I think, in German mythology and folklore, and were…
Son: [sadly] The elf-abet.— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) August 9, 2018
Son: What do you get if you eat tinsel?
Me: You get very ill. Don't EVER eat tinsel! You could die of intestinal…
Son: [sadly] Tinselitis.— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) December 20, 2016
Son: What do cows say on Christmas Day?
Me: Cows can't speak, my love. They're animals. Humans are the only…
Son: [sadly] Mooey Christmas.— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) December 16, 2014
Son: What do angry mice send at Christmas?
Me: Do mice get angry? They certainly get fearful but anger is…
Son: [sadly] Cross mouse cards.— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) December 22, 2014
Son: What's a snowman's worst day of the week?
Me: Snowmen haven't got brains and are therefore unable to…
Son: [sadly] Sunday.— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) December 23, 2014
Image property of Nick Harvey
