21+ times a dad hilariously ruined his young son’s jokes with facts

As well as being a successful composer, Nick Harvey is well known for having sons – and for having bought those sons a goal for in the garden. He also regularly tweets about tormenting one of those sons by spoiling his jokes with facts. These are 21+ of the funniest and/or meanest we’ve seen.

1.

Son: Why do bees have sticky hair?
Me: I'll find out. *googles* Bees have epidermal cells called…
Son: [sadly] 'Cos they use honeycombs.

— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) January 5, 2015

2.

Son: What are caterpillars afraid of?
Me: It's unlikely that they experience fear. They're not self-aware, so…
Son: [sadly] Dogerpillars.

— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) September 20, 2015

3.

Son: How does Moses make tea?
Me: Moses isn't alive, darling, and back then, I'm not even sure that people drank tea.
Son: [sadly] Hebrews it.

— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) November 20, 2018

4.

Son: How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
Me: Hang on a sec. *googles* By 285 AD, the Roman Empire had grown so vast that it was no longer feasible to govern all the provinces from the central seat of Rome. The Emperor Diocletian divided the…
Son: [sadly] With some Caesars.

— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) September 19, 2018

5.

Son: When is the moon heaviest?
Me: Hang on. *googles* Well, apart from collecting meteoric material, its weight doesn’t really change. And anyway, the meteoric material is minuscule compared to the total mass of 7.35 x 1022 kg. Its density is…
Son: [sadly] When it's full.

— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) December 6, 2017

6.

Son: What’s an ig?
Me: Hang on. *googles* It’s an abbreviation for immunoglobulin, a protein produced by plasma cells and lymphocytes. Part of the immune system, they attach to foreign substances, like bacteria, and destroy them.
Son: [sadly] It’s an Eskimo’s house without a loo.

— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) December 21, 2017

7.

Son: Why are pirates called pirates?
Me: Hang on. *googles* 'Pirate' stems from the Latin 'pirata', meaning…
Son: [sadly] Cos they arrrr.

— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) September 17, 2017

8.

Son (5): What did the volcano say to his girlfriend?
Me: Volcanos can't speak or have relationships.
Son: *sadly* Lava's in the air.

— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) May 9, 2014

9.

Son: What's the sweariest animal?
Me: Animals don't even speak, let alone swear. They communicate by…
Son: [sadly] A hippo-pottymouth.

— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) March 25, 2015

10.

Son: Where do you find giant snails?
Me: Hang on. *googles* Originally from Kenya, the Achatina Fulica now…
Son: [sadly] Giants' fingers.

— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) December 15, 2016

11.

Son: Why's there no gambling in Africa?
Me: Hang on. *googles* Kenya's 1973 Gambling Act restricted the…
Son: [sadly] Too many cheetahs.

— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) March 5, 2016

12.

Son: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Me: Let me find out for you. *googles* It's an astyanax fasciatus mexicanus.
Son: [sadly] A fsh.

— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) August 5, 2016

13.

Son: What direction do chickens swim in?
Me: Hang on. *googles* Although they don't like being in water, chickens…
Son: [sadly] Cluckwise.

— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) March 12, 2017