A guy live tweeted the ‘most millennial break-up of all time’
A chap called aleontologist and master eavesdropper Trevor Valle – he’s a paleontologist, apparently – was minding his own business when he couldn’t help but overhear this exchange in the apartment opposite.
He reckons it’s the ultimate millennial break-up and he might be right. See if you can spot where it’s going to go …
1.
THREAD:
I just overheard one of the most Millennial breakups, ever.
Scene: the apartment across the alley from me (our windows face)
Intro: High-pitched voice screaming the horror movie scream that can only only be described as "blood curdling"
Young woman: "WHAT'S WRONG?!"
— Trevor S. Valle (@tattoosandbones) October 17, 2018
2.
Previous young screaming voice, apparently male: “I DROPPED MY PHONE!”
GF: You scared the shit out of me! What happened?!
BF: I DROPPED MY PHONE IN THE TOILET!
GF: Wash it off!
BF: I CAN’T
GF: It’s waterproof. It’s fine. Open the door.
BF: IT’S IN THE TOILET
— Trevor S. Valle (@tattoosandbones) October 17, 2018
3.
GF: Why is the door locked?
BF: I CAN’T GET MY PHONE
GF: Open the door. I’ll do it.
(The boyfriend has been screaming every word in a panic and sobbing)
BF: YOU CAN’T TOUCH IT
GF: What the fuck is going on?
BF: IT’S COVERED IN SHIT IN THE TOILET OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO PUKE
— Trevor S. Valle (@tattoosandbones) October 17, 2018
4.
GF: Flush it a couple times and then get it out and wash it off.
BF: (loud gagging)
GF: Jesus did you throw up?
BF: I CAN’T TALK ON MY PHONE EVER AGAIN
GF: Did you seriously just throw up in the toilet on your phone?
BF: (wailing)
GF: (starts laughing)
BF: OMFG NO
— Trevor S. Valle (@tattoosandbones) October 17, 2018
5.
GF: Ok, just calm the fuck down, flush it like ten times, and pull it OUT and wash it OFF.
BF: YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND
GF: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
(minutes of sobbing/can’t hear them talking quietly)
*suddenly*
GF: WHAT?! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING FACETIMING HER YOU ASSHOLE?!
— Trevor S. Valle (@tattoosandbones) October 17, 2018
6.
BF: WE NEVER FUCKED, SO WHAT IS THE FUCKING PROBLEM? IT’S NOT CHEATING!
GF: FACETIMING SOMEONE ELSE AND JERKING OFF WITH THEM IS FUCKING CHEATING ASSHOLE!
BF: OH MY GOD WILL YOU HANG UP ALREADY?!
GF: She’s STILL on your fucking phone?! WELL NOW *SHE’S* DEALING WITH YOUR SHIT!
— Trevor S. Valle (@tattoosandbones) October 17, 2018
7.
GF: HE’S ALL YOURS BITCH, AND RIGHT NOW YOU’RE COVERED WITH THE BEST HE’S GOT!
BF: FUCK YOU
GF: Not anymore you won’t!
BF: (sobbing)
(Moments later, a car door slams and the car takes off)
– – –
So, if I heard correctly, the phone was still in video chat, in the toilet.
— Trevor S. Valle (@tattoosandbones) October 17, 2018
8.
A live feed of tumbling into a… possibly currently full… toilet, then all that muffled audio… then charfing into the same…
That was a Kali-level, multi-handed karmic backhand.
I was too stunned to react at first, but I’m laughing so hard right now, it’s hard to Swype.
— Trevor S. Valle (@tattoosandbones) October 17, 2018
Some people were sceptical to say the least, so he shared this.
For those non-believers, here’s the window across the way. Distance is less than 20ft. I’m guessing the small window is the bathroom.
I was watching How Ridiculous videos on YouTube, and around 330am his scream started it all.
I have no idea what happened after the car left. pic.twitter.com/RlMYOGuaa0
— Trevor S. Valle (@tattoosandbones) October 17, 2018
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