Just 25 really funny jokes from the last week
14.
me: alexa
alexa: that name was a fiction to hide my true identity, alizarin the demon god of fear and-
me: is it okay to microwave glass
alexa: for how long
— Shen the Bird (@Shen_the_Bird) October 11, 2018
15.
Me: You said dress for the job you want
Boss: give me my clothes back
— Llama In A Tux (@LlamaInaTux) October 10, 2018
15.
st peter: welcome to heaven
robert plant: finally [completely out of breath] made it up the stairs
*doors slide open behind him*
robert plant: THERE'S A FUCKING ELEVATOR?!
— Scary Terry F (@daemonic3) October 10, 2018
16.
touch my balloon again pal and you’ll be picking your teeth up with broken fingers… pic.twitter.com/C5nXiHhCMx
— forest fr1ends (@forest_fr1ends) October 11, 2018
17.
Theresa May negotiating the Irish backstop. (Please imagine everything in this gif is also on fire). pic.twitter.com/ilLYTqN4El
— David Schneider (@davidschneider) October 11, 2018
18.
wait a minute you just said "fly me to the moon" what's all this stuff about jupiter and mars, that's two whole other trips. the moon is a great place to be, just have a wander around, look at some rocks, don't be flying off in all directions looking for weather on other planets.
— wolf pupy (@wolfpupy) October 12, 2018
19.
Nobody found it odd that the punishment for skipping class at the High School in "The Breakfast Club" carried the same penalty as bringing a gun to school and assaulting a student?
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) October 11, 2018
20.
Me: *looking at a wine menu* I'll have a bottle of white.
McDonald's employee: Where did you get that?
— Ian Sausage (@stephenjmolloy) October 12, 2018
21.
Still might be my all time favourite excuse for having drugs in your purse. pic.twitter.com/smi9q1Hgb8
— amanda abbington (@CHIMPSINSOCKS) October 11, 2018
22.
I don’t understand pizza delivery guy porn. The pizza is getting cold.
— Frankie Boyle (@frankieboyle) October 8, 2018
23.
Why are they called customs sniffer dogs and not border colleagues?
— Andy Ryan (@ItsAndyRyan) October 10, 2018
24.
I asked the Doctor whether masturbation causes poor eyesight. He said, "You're in Greggs, mate".
— Ian Power (@IHPower) October 8, 2018
25.
[to the tune of Rio by Duran Duran] this song is Rio and it's by Duran Duran
— tw itter user #74 (@dopeaccident) October 7, 2018
As always, we’d love you to send us the funniest joke you’ve seen this week.
