Boris Johnson thinks he’s solved the Brexit puzzle – 21 hilarious burns
Former Foreign Secretary and Brexit champion, Boris Johnson, has used his platform at The Telegraph to set out his plan for leaving the EU, as well as to throw a few digs in the direction of Theresa May and her Chequers plan. It’s all in the interest of the country, of course, and not remotely part of a plan to become Prime Minister.
My plan for a better Brexit https://t.co/NULjm7WxJ0
— Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson) September 27, 2018
https://twitter.com/MarkDiStef/status/1045417468297179137
The full story is behind a paywall – of course – but this summarises his plan in six points.
1. Chuck Chequers
2. Scrap Irish backstop and rewrite withdrawal agreement
3. Negotiate “SuperCanada” free trade deal
4. Invest in border controls
5. Prepare for no deal
6. Start trade negotiations around the world in April
His suggestions have been received with disbelief and mockery, which is what Twitter does best – as these 21 comments show.
1.
Boris Johnson has written another 4,000 word piece on Brexit like a student hoping length will compensate for lack of content. pic.twitter.com/7yNDV0pTAe
— George Eaton (@georgeeaton) September 27, 2018
2.
Boris Johnson’s 6 point plan for Brexit:
1. Scrap the UK’s existing plan
2. Replace it with a so far non-existent plan.
3. Put the word “super” in front of things.
4. Build a wall
5. and Mexico will pay for it.
6. Float off into the Atlantic. pic.twitter.com/O0ccQdqTn8— Adam Bienkov (@AdamBienkov) September 27, 2018
3.
Oh sit down, you lying, cheating charlatan. https://t.co/qFNqoZ5ksl
— James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) September 28, 2018
4.
In case you’ve not got time to read Boris Johnson’s plan, here’s a summary:
1. Fuck business
2. Fuck the Irish
3. Fuck everyone else
4. Make me Prime Ministerhttps://t.co/JarJRssVS8— David Schneider (@davidschneider) September 28, 2018
5.
God Almighty. Boris Johnson – liar, racist, adulterer, schemer, fraud, shameless – is lecturing us on ‘moral and intellectual humiliation.’
— Tim Walker (@ThatTimWalker) September 28, 2018
6.
*I’ve got a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel* pic.twitter.com/TiW1QC7y0d
— Jim Pickard (@PickardJE) September 27, 2018
7.
"Ministers acted disgracefully" in making no proper preparations for Brexit, says Johnson.
Wait until he finds out who the previous Foreign Secretary was. https://t.co/sEulYmc7bo
— Steve Peers (@StevePeers) September 27, 2018
8.
I see Boris Johnson has put his very important article behind a paywall, as a metaphor for Britain's future relationship with the EU. https://t.co/OI7SIp202h
— Tom Hamilton (@thhamilton) September 27, 2018
9.
.@BorisJohnson has written 5000 words in @Telegraph on his alternative Brexit plan. Here’s précis. 1) Theresa May and the UK have been mugged by Remainy Whitehall. 2) Northern Ireland backstop has to be taken out of Withdrawal Agreement and then negotiated – along with…
— Robert Peston (@Peston) September 27, 2018
…Canada-style free trade agreement – during 21 month transition. 3) If EU says hop off to that, we should embrace no-deal Brexit, because we are resilient Brits. 4) hmmm, that’s it.
— Robert Peston (@Peston) September 27, 2018
10.
Boris Johnson spells out his 4500 word plan for a better Brexit:
"I am Boris. I am Boris. I am Boris. I am Boris. I am Boris. I am Boris. I am Boris. I am Boris. I am Boris. I am Boris. I am Boris. I am Boris. I am Boris. I am Boris. I am Boris. I am Boris. I am Boris … 1/90— Sean Jones (@seanjonesqc) September 27, 2018
11.
This is not a plan. It’s a lunatic wishlist designed by someone willing to sacrifice the country on the altar of his ambition. pic.twitter.com/EmQxRHhjKn
— James Ball (@jamesrbuk) September 27, 2018
