Adults misunderstanding kids’ questions is the thread we didn’t know we needed – the 24 most awkward
I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter that asked what “hostages” was. I explained and she still looked confused. My wife asked, “Did you mean sausages?”
She meant sausages.
— Jared Mason (@JaredEMason) September 12, 2018
Son asked…mum, what's Vice? I gave explanation suitable for 5yo ears THEN asked why he wanted to know. Eyes like saucers he said "I've been made captain of it in my class" 🙃😲 https://t.co/we8KUhxaeH
— Carmel (@Carmel63984298) September 13, 2018
Some people cunningly swerved genuinely awkward questions.
i was in the car with my son once, and he asked me what a cougar was. i said, “a mountain lion. sometimes they’re called pumas or panthers” without missing a beat. we both knew that isn’t what he meant, but neither of us said anything.
— sister mouzone (@blackgirldating) September 12, 2018
We were in the car once with my parents when my brother asked what is a virgin? My dad gave him a lecture on undiscovered land:)
— Asimah (@asimahNShah) September 12, 2018
I’m just reminded of dad’s explanation of “hooker” in a Mad Magazine reference as someone who makes rugs.
— Rick Bruner (@rickbruner) September 12, 2018
Others shared some charmingly innocent childhood misinterpretations.
2 years ago, my then 10-yo came to us, novel in hand, and announced “If this means what I THINK I means, I should NOT be reading this book!”
She was appalled that author wrote that two characters had “exchanged pleasantries”.
That term is now our family’s go-to euphemism.
— Just Dave (@d_m_s_1972) September 12, 2018
As a young’n I was scandalized by someone “kissing her temple” in a book. I had never heard of a temple before on a body and all the to-do about virginity being sacred made me think it was an obscene act.
— Julie V. (@wishingbee) September 12, 2018
There were also some embarrassing word mix-ups.
One of the ‘posh’ girls at our primary school got very confused and answered a question about Queen Elizabeth I with “Elizabeth Vagina”
My how we laughed.
— Webhead (@SarahDirtyHorse) September 12, 2018
My little nephew called me once and said a doctor wanted to remove his “testicles” and my sis in law screams in the background “tonsils! Omg tonsils!” So it was a rollercoaster of emotion for 30seconds
— K.M. Galvin (@KelsieGalvin) September 12, 2018
My Sister once asked me if we were Catholic or Prostitute?!
— Nicole Connell (@BradsMrs) September 12, 2018
Age 8 first overseas vacation announced to my mother in a packed solid dinning room in a rather loud & enthusiastic shrill “I’ve just seen the biggest testicles ever seen”… I can still see her raised eyebrows & rye smile now. I still smirk at the word tentacles pic.twitter.com/SHNPEWrhm3
— Moira C. Delaney (@MoiraDelaney66) September 12, 2018
My pals 3 year old had first trip to cinema and full of joy told me his favourite bit of the trip was the cockporn! The what? I said. ‘popcorn! POPCORN!” Said my exasperated friend. Yes said the 3 year old “I love cockporn” … he told his nursery teacher, neighbour, and granny
— Galloping Catastrophe (@gallopingcatast) September 12, 2018
One person shared a misheard line from a popular film, which would have very much altered its reputation.
That line in Sound of Music where Maria runs to Mother Superior when she realizes she’s fallen for Cpt. Von Trapp-Mother Superior says “Maria, what is it you can’t face?” But with her accent, I swear it sounds like “Maria, what is it you c*nt face?”
— Brigit Michaela (@lilyvnshtp) September 12, 2018
Lonely goat turd, anyone?