These nicknames and misheard names are brilliantly surreal – our 23 favourites
@MooseAllain I know a huge man, 6'6" & 30 stone, who's surname is Garden. Everyone calls him Wisley. Because that's a ruddy big garden, too
— Andrew Leach (@4ndrewJames) April 9, 2016
@MooseAllain My friend Monkey is known as such because of a Whatsapp auto-correct incident (his name is actually Mikey)
— Stu Joslin (@specialjay) April 9, 2016
@MooseAllain I used to live upstairs from Sue Downstairs. Lovely lady. She's still Sue Downstairs to me even though I live 5 miles away now.
— Tommy Rose (@tomdotcom1) April 9, 2016
— Kate S (@katesaunders13) April 9, 2016
@MooseAllain Worked with a pretty guy in the late 90s. We called him Boyband. He's still known as Mr Band.
— Muddy Mae Suggins (@meadowgroove) April 9, 2016
Age 4, got lost in Butlins. Staff member asked my name. Couldn’t pronounce my middle name so I said “Rebecca Wilouise.” They went in search of Mr and Mrs Willowies. My brother called me Wilouise for years after.
— Bec (@IshMotherBec) September 10, 2018
My wife had a dog named Charlie, my best mate is called Charlie so we stared calling him ‘Human Charlie’ when he was in the dog’s company, his reaction cemented the nickname and even now when anyone from the group mentions Charlie it’s customary to ask ‘Human Charlie?’
— Mr.Freeman (@M1sterFreeman) September 10, 2018
Played in a band with a Spanish bassist called José who pulled out last minute from a gig but sent his mate (also called José) to cover, who has been known ever since as Jos-B
— B (@goddammitbrian) September 10, 2018
My friend has two friends called Helen. I had a back operation a few years ago so, to distinguish between us when talking to her bf, she referred to me as ‘Back Helen’. The other Helen, by extension, became ‘Front Helen’.
— Kitters (@kitleytea) September 10, 2018
My local pub has so many people called Paul they all have to have nicknames.
One is called “No Nickname” Paul.
— Frank, not that one, the other one. (@frankspicer) September 10, 2018
This nickname, however, has since passed into legend and is shared as an “I remember seeing this tweet” story, far and wide. It’s certainly a brilliant nickname, if true.
@MooseAllain Used to work with a bloke called Wayne Bruce. About 20 years ago. Nicknamed ManBat, which to my knowledge he’s still known as.
— Steve (@ScoobyEDF) April 9, 2016