A man shared his terrible list of questions for a first date – the 21 best shutdowns

First dates can be awkward – you’re either changing a relationship with someone you already know or meeting a brand new person, which has its own pitfalls. A Twitter user named Kyle Trouble has shared his suggestions for how to find out certain vital information on that first date and it’s both horribly misogynistic and also just a terrible way to talk to humans.

Brace yourself for Kyle’s dating tips.

Now, take a deep breath and allow your brain a few moments to process the shitshow that is Kyle’s attitude to woman. If you think it’s all a joke and this is a parody account – as we did – rest assured, he has a blog and a mailing list for receiving more nuggets of wisdom like this, which seem to be completely serious.

If you enjoyed this thread and the reactions, join the Trouble email list.

I tell it like it is every day.

You’ll get laid like tile with hot girls, not the hags polluting this thread.

Go ⬇️⬇️⬇️https://t.co/UXq8UrZBeV

— Kyle Trouble (@KyleTrouble) September 9, 2018

As you’d imagine, his life guide hasn’t been received with great enthusiasm, so the reactions are worth a read – more so than his tips, actually. Here are 21 of the best shutdowns of his terrible take.

1.

Check out our new advertisement for lesbianism! https://t.co/6g1uGQIGT6

— Marie Connor (@thistallawkgirl) September 10, 2018

2.

Narrator: "Kyle died alone. In a ditch." https://t.co/G6cGWWXIWr

— Q-Ball (@QuebecTango) September 10, 2018

3.

"Hello woman I wish to put my willy in you. What is your dad like? Do you do a sex? What is a child? I am a man do you like me? The stain on this shirt is a mixture of red wine and blood, please stop punching me and tell me how you'd remove it." https://t.co/macLxg597Y

— Fudgey (@fudgecrumpet) September 10, 2018

4.

This is like a job interview for a job no one would ever want. https://t.co/Lz64FbjhzG

— Shitty Indigenous Woman 2.0 (@lafondles) September 10, 2018

5.

Easy answers to give on a first date to make sure dudes like this leave you the fuck alone

-I murdered him when I was 12
-I had sex 10 minutes before u picked me up
-They are delicious when fried
-lmao
-None at all whatsoever in fact I've burnt down the last 3 houses I lived him https://t.co/pgC1RULk4d

— Elle Maruska (they/them) (@ellle_em) September 10, 2018

6.

Or you could, you know, talk to them about their interests, hobbies, and life goals and treat them like a person instead of a checklist.
Seriously, this is one step away from asking them to fill out a form for you. At least if you did that you’d be being honest about it. https://t.co/oYQXD6F0nm

— Alex Olney (@Alex_Olney) September 10, 2018