Someone asked for examples of clever nicknames and these 23 replies are just ingenious
While there will always be nicknames that are a bit obvious, like calling someone named Smith “Smiffy”, there are also some that employ lateral thinking in such a sneaky way, it’s sometimes hard to get the joke. Guardian journalist and Twitter funny man, Simon Ricketts, wondered whether there might be some of this latter kind that he hadn’t heard, so he asked his followers to share them.
He started them off with some of his own, including cricketer Alastair Cook, who has scored a century in his last innings with England today.
Alastair Cook’s nickname is ‘Chef’. I like how pointless that is. Same amount of letters, no discernible difference in saying it. The faintest humour.
Best nicknames – “One Size” for footballer Fitz Hall.
“Dave” for César Azpilicueta because it was easier to say.
— SimonNRicketts (@SimonNRicketts) September 9, 2018
Like the troopers they are, Twitter obliged – in spades. These are our 23 favourites (some of them will take you longer to work out than others).
There was a one time Aston Villa midfielder called Gilles De Bilde. Teammates called him Bob
— Dave Datsun (@DaveDatsun) September 9, 2018
Austrian footballer Bernt Haas was known as the fireman to his teammates.
— Retep Retals (@retalsp) September 9, 2018
Kenny Lunt (ex-Crewe Alexandra) = Lenny. On the latter, he was asked on tv why that was his nickname and he made up some bollocks quite convincingly. But it’s because of the spoonerism.
Neil Warnock = Colin. Because Neil Warnock is an anagram of Colin Wanker.
— Ed Morrish (@edmorrish) September 9, 2018
I was at university with a Mark Manson-Barr who we called Mark Pants and Bra. It still makes me so happy. When his younger brother came to stay we all just called him Thong.
— Alexandra Heminsley (@Hemmo) September 9, 2018
Think one of cricketer Michael Carberry’s nicknames is ‘Toby’.
— Milkybarnick (@milkybarnick) September 9, 2018
“The King Of Spain” for cricketer Ashley Giles after a batch of “King Of Spin” mugs were misprinted
— Michael Hogan (@michaelhogan) September 9, 2018
This remains one of my favourites (I hope it’s real). pic.twitter.com/yoik1IBuVX
— Claire (@clairemims) September 9, 2018
A lad called Keith played in goal for a local pub team. As a child he lost an eye in an air rifle incident. Therefore his nickname was ‘Keth’.
— Geoff (@GL72) September 9, 2018
I played cricket with a chap whose surname was Goodfellow – nickname “Freezer”
— Ian Watkins (@irwatkins) September 9, 2018
Guy name John in village with 2 pubs. Gets barred from one so became known as Johnny One-pub. Then got barred from the other so became Johnny Home-brew.
— Dan Price (@damprice) September 9, 2018
Guy at uni was known as the “Olympic Flame” because he never went out.
— Josh (@JeffCarnage) September 9, 2018
One of my favourites was Herbie for Allan (Herbaceous) Border.
but at SFC Wealdstone we had
Mark (Multi) Storey
Steve (Cody) Rowe
Martin (Chesty) Gough
Nick (Albert) Hall https://t.co/0D9l8cUaDD
— Don Cross (@Stoney_Ground) September 9, 2018
The Gloucs cricketer Paul Romaines was nicknamed Human by team-mates.
— Ian Ridley (@IanRidley1) September 9, 2018