People are sharing their funny little habits and it’s the best thread you’ll read this week
oh, and whenever taking anything hot out of the oven shouting ‘MAT!’ v loudly coz my father in law once did it in Tenby (tray was very hot and he wanted a mat to put it on)
— John Plunkett (@johnplunkett149) August 24, 2018
Almost every time I feed my dog, especially if it’s spare bits of chicken after a roast, I say “don’t say I never give you anything”.
— Pale Blurs. (@joetele) August 24, 2018
I can’t help firing an Uzi at John Travolta when the toaster pops.
— GaryWood (@doowyrag) August 24, 2018
Whenever I put petrol in the car, I have to sing the chorus to “No Scrubs” by TLC to remind me the tank is on the passenger side, thus avoiding stretched hose confusion.
— Quiz Kid Donnie Smith (@Bazihnio) August 24, 2018
Whenever a pea fell on the table it was customary to declare it an “Escapea”. Now if it happens we describe an elaborate escape plan hatched by the pea in its bid for freedom and sometimes touch upon the forthcoming pea prisoner revolt.
— Alex Kittridge ❄️ (@AlexQuatch) August 24, 2018
When paying out electrical cable from a reel, I do it like William Holden laying the explosive cables in “The Bridge on the River Kwai”. Conversely, when pulling up ivy in the garden, I do it like Alec Guinness pulling up the explosive cables in “The Bridge on the River Kwai”.
— Chris (@cjhancock) August 23, 2018
I always vacuum like the lady on the Shake n Vac advert. I have never bought the product and they probably don’t make it any more.
— Ben Brignell (@benbrignell) August 23, 2018
If ever the word ‘phenomenon’ is uttered in our hearing my hubby and I both burst into ‘de dooo de do do’ from the Muppets’ mana-mana song. Similarly whenever a TV Doctor is trying to restart someone’s heart and says ‘shocking’, we both chorus ‘terrible’. Our daughter despairs.
— AnnieR (@biggybaggyboggy) August 24, 2018
If I need to ask my sister something I say ‘question’, and then refuse to actually ask the question until she’s sung ‘tell me how you feel about me’ (Destiny’s Child, Independent Women). I’m sure it’s not irritating in the slightest.
— Sara Steel (@DrSteelsberg) August 24, 2018
My vet recommended we feed my old dog cat food. Every time I fed him I’d show him the picture on the can and tell him very loudly and earnestly “See! It’s made from real cats!”
— Hairy Legs (@webbaud) August 24, 2018
Whenever I see someone dressed up & looking proud I like to say “he’s going to London to be raised as a gentleman” (in my best posh London accent). I’ve been saying that since seeing Michael York as Pip in ‘Great Expectations’. Pip was around 13. York was 32 playing the role pic.twitter.com/0vOV1j3PsR
— Deb Murphy (@FeckinLife) August 23, 2018
Not quite in the same but; for years when the Mrs starts cooking tea I always have a packet of crisps. (I don’t know why) but it’s been going on for so long that whenever I have a packet of crisps she feels that she should go and cook.
It’s a bit Schrödinger’s cat
— Zanglebert Bingledack (@ImNotFromSparks) August 24, 2018
Two Wrigley’s Extra must always be inserted over my two front teeth (unseen by others) then mouth closed. The next person to make eye contact, I flash a winning smile with my bright new enormous gnashers
— Dave McCann (@davemc99) August 23, 2018
Chez nous, baby carrots and cocktail sausages must be gripped between your teeth as you declare “I like your moxie, kid- you’re hired!”
Larger sausages also have to be speared by a fork and “GrangeHilled” up to your face before they can be eaten.
— weecuppatea (@weecuppatea) August 23, 2018
Whenever I pull something out I say “yes! It’s an extender!” in what I hope is an Alan Partridge voice. It stopped being funny to others a long time ago.
— Neil M. (@Neil_M79) August 24, 2018
The skin part of any quartered apple or tomato must always be put in front of the teeth like a gum shield, before pretending to be hit like Rocky. Celery is always smoked like a cigar.
— Raineymouse (@raineymouse) August 23, 2018
Oo ooh, I say “well done Reginald” EVERY time I /anyone else reverses into a space. My 15 year old has no idea why I say it but he says it now as well (you’d need to be over 55 to get it.)
— V Lee #FBPE #PeoplesVote (@vlee10) August 24, 2018
My dad always sang Willie Nelson’s ‘on the road again’ on the way out and ‘hey it’s good to be back home again’ by John Denver when we drove up the driveway. Even if we’d just been out for 10 mins at the shop. I miss him so still do these wee things.
— IntricateFi (@IntricateFi) August 24, 2018
Whenever my husband makes the baby’s bottle he flicks a tea towel over a shoulder, shakes it quick-speed with one hand and pushes it down the kitchen counter to me like feeding a baby is like a running a speakeasy
— Lisa #FBPE (@wherefora50thou) August 23, 2018
To conclude …
Ah Moose you legend! Another spectacular thread
— Wayne Singleton (@SingletonWayne) August 24, 2018