25 hilarious jokes to round off your week

We’ve done it, everyone. We’ve made it through the week that saw the President of America implicated in electoral fraud, Jeremy Corbyn proposing a state-run digital foundation that would create a social media platform, and the UK government consoling those worried about Brexit with a reassurance that BLTs will still be available. Good news for branches of Subway, “meh” news for vegetarians.

Amongst all that turmoil, funny people kept doing their thing, so we could reap the benefits.

1.

I've waited years for this to happen so I can finally go "How do these people sleep at night?" pic.twitter.com/LdvZA4I10s

— Sebas (@OhLookBirdies) August 17, 2018

2.

Calling David Icke an "investigative author" is like calling Hannibal Lecter a "foodie". https://t.co/v4VRdg3api

— Daniel Sugarman (@Daniel_Sugarman) August 19, 2018

3.

*phone rings
15: I hope it's him!
*phone rings
25: hope it's about the job
*phone rings
35: (handing phone to stranger) i died. tell them

— Brosephine Wires (@JoParkerBear) August 18, 2018

4.

I've just wasted an hour of my life.

I was walking around my garden making clip clop noises with a couple of coconut shells trying to make the old woman next door think I'd bought a horse.

She's just shouted over the fence, "I know you're just banging coconut shells together."

— rab livingstone (@rablivingstone) August 19, 2018

5.

Just ate a Ripple.
They’re brilliant.
It’s like eating a Flake but with none of the fannying about

— joe heenan (@joeheenan) August 19, 2018

6.

https://twitter.com/craiguito/status/1031964163755724805

7.

The Rapture has started and, as expected, Porsche owners are the first to ascend. pic.twitter.com/0WZO3BWDBB

— New Town Flâneur (@NewTownFlaneur) August 20, 2018

8.

Why does this baby look like a middle-aged Irish man? pic.twitter.com/j2CncO8Vl5

— WireSpy (@wirespyuk) August 20, 2018

9.

Note to self: Never buy a border collie when you’re drunk. pic.twitter.com/UbQ4dbJ8iR

— Amy (@Hipchickadee) August 22, 2018

10.

One fun aspect of being an adult is not liking anything and going to sleep.

— Michael (@Home_Halfway) August 19, 2018

11.

https://twitter.com/Rossmac212/status/1030628610774892545

12.

Barista told me he was “trying to draw a heart”. pic.twitter.com/ZbW4zAlchJ

— Jenny Parks (@jennymparks) August 23, 2018

13.

Y'know when toddlers get super quiet they are up to no good… Trump is smearing himself in shit & butter right now,then he is gonna stink out twitter

— Roisin Conaty (@Roisinconaty) August 22, 2018