This furious thread about ‘flatcap wankers’ is a boozy treat even before the delightful twist
Here’s someone called Wee Mowgz who went to a BrewDog pub in Edinburgh and found it ‘filled with wankers’. Except his loss was everyone else’s gain because he took to Twitter to recount what happened next.
1.
In the Brewdog pub down the Cowgate.
Filled with wankers, as you can imagine.— Wee Mowgz (@Mowgzilla) August 13, 2018
2.
I include myself in that social group too, by the way
— Wee Mowgz (@Mowgzilla) August 13, 2018
3.
It is busy. About 10 people waiting to be served. I’m standing in the corner, cursing my choice of venue.
— Wee Mowgz (@Mowgzilla) August 13, 2018
4.
There is a group of 3 cunts standing near me, at the corner of the bar.
You know the type.
They have festival lanyards on and are speaking too loudly because they are so important— Wee Mowgz (@Mowgzilla) August 13, 2018
5.
Tweed features heavily in their outfits.
There is a flat cap in attendance.
They are talking expansively about beer and it is all utter bollocks— Wee Mowgz (@Mowgzilla) August 13, 2018
6.
You pictured the scene, yeah?
— Wee Mowgz (@Mowgzilla) August 13, 2018
7.
Fucking arseholes.
— Wee Mowgz (@Mowgzilla) August 13, 2018
8.
Anyway. As mentioned, the bar is busy. They are, by my reckoning, about 6th in line to be served
— Wee Mowgz (@Mowgzilla) August 13, 2018
9.
Flatcap lanyard twat gets out his wallet and loudly declares, over the achingly hipster soft reggae being played, that he is going to buy his group the dearest beer in the pub, to “celebrate being magnificent”
— Wee Mowgz (@Mowgzilla) August 13, 2018
10.
I am struggling to articulate how much I hate this person.
— Wee Mowgz (@Mowgzilla) August 13, 2018
11.
Anyway, he gets his wallet out.
OF COURSE it is on a fucking chain.— Wee Mowgz (@Mowgzilla) August 13, 2018
12.
So. He gets his wallet out, takes out a £50 and waves it in the direction of the bar staff, and shouts “coo-ee!”
— Wee Mowgz (@Mowgzilla) August 13, 2018
13.
Do you hate him enough yet?
— Wee Mowgz (@Mowgzilla) August 13, 2018
14.
No. No you dont.
— Wee Mowgz (@Mowgzilla) August 13, 2018
15.
Right, so he waves this note about, like he is the utter fucking wanker that he clearly is, and shouts “coo-ee!” AGAIN at the staff
Prick— Wee Mowgz (@Mowgzilla) August 13, 2018
