This viral post is an object lesson in how to handle passive-aggressive note-leavers
When musician and wedding singer Keli Thomson had some emergency building work done on her flat, without the benefit of a skip for the waste, she incurred the wrath of a neighbour, who left her this note.
In case you’re struggling with the handwriting, this is what the note said.
“MOVE THE RUBBISH FROM YOUR GARDEN. WE’VE TAKEN PHOTOS AND VIDEO RECORDED THE MESS.
IF ALL THE MESS ISN’T REMOVED OVER THE WEEKEND, ALL THE EVIDENCE WILL BE PASSED ONTO EDINBURGH COUNCIL.”
We’ve added some punctuation to aid readability but left the caps lock so you can see they’d gone full-Trump.
When Keli found this, she didn’t succumb to the overt threat, but wrote them a rather more measured reply than they really deserved.
Walked into a passive aggressive note about bathroom rubbish from my FRESHLY done up bathroom in my garden (totally out of my control) threatening the COONCIL on me. They didn’t catch me on my friendliest of days. How to be a cheeky cunt 101. pic.twitter.com/A8rbpCtiuU
— K E L I 💋✨ (@likeatrooper) July 20, 2018
“Dear Angry Sir/Madam,
Thank you for making me aware of the rubbish in my garden! I had no idea, but your passive-aggressive threatening note made me notice – HOORAY!!
Just to inform you, my bathroom floor was sinking so got done in an emergency with no skip – bummer for you, right?
Landlord is currently using my rent money sunning up in Italy (jealous) whilst I deal with this bullshit, so sadly, until his return, no rubbish will be removed.”
“I’m so glad you wrote to be honest, because now I know that someone else is concerned about the welfare of the garden (which no one else has helped with in the six years I’ve lived here!)
Next time it may be more useful to knock on my door and discuss our methods of how to keep the garden tidy ALL year around, together!
I am flat number 1. Pop around any time.”
“Also, if you contact the council, please let them know I’m still waiting for a recycling bin since they never seem to want to drop one off or listen to anyone’s requests.
Again, pop around any time for garden chat. Lots and lots of love,
Signed (Because I’m NO a SHITEBAG),