This hilarious thread explaining the plot of Cats is as bizarre as it is accurate
For reasons best known to himself, Branson Reese decided to explain the plot of Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber’s hit musical Cats, via the medium of a Twitter thread – as you do. It goes on a bit, much like the show itself, but at least you don’t have to listen to anyone sing.
Now it’s been made into a live action film – you’ve probably seen the fuss – seemed like a good idea to enjoy it all over again.
So you got a bunch of cats running around up there. Seems simple enough, right? We’re in, we’re out. Think again, pal.
— brans💋n reese (@bransonreese) November 23, 2015
Because this isn’t just another night in the alley. An enormous cat has chosen tonight to vaguely announce that he can send a cat to heaven.
— brans💋n reese (@bransonreese) November 23, 2015
He never really goes into detail, but the rule seems to be “one cat gets to go to heaven. Regardless of whether of not they’re sick.”
— brans💋n reese (@bransonreese) November 23, 2015
And nobody starts crying. They just take that shit in stride.
— brans💋n reese (@bransonreese) November 23, 2015
So then, instead of pleading their case for why they deserve to go to heaven when they die (which is tonight, even if they’re healthy)
— brans💋n reese (@bransonreese) November 23, 2015
They spend an hour introducing themselves to the audience.
— brans💋n reese (@bransonreese) November 23, 2015
Like, as an advertisement for themselves? No fucking way. They spend a ton of time singing about how dishonest and sinful they are.
— brans💋n reese (@bransonreese) November 23, 2015
And that’s the first act.
— brans💋n reese (@bransonreese) November 23, 2015
So far, so weird, right? It gets weirder.
Act two, you’re like “strap in. This will probably be all about heaven”
— brans💋n reese (@bransonreese) November 23, 2015
And years later, you’ll remember thinking that. And it will break your dang heart. Because NOPE. 3-4 more cats just introduce themselves.
— brans💋n reese (@bransonreese) November 23, 2015
And then this heaven cat WHO BY THE WAY HAS DONE ZERO MAGIC AND HAS PROVEN NOTHING shows back up.
— brans💋n reese (@bransonreese) November 23, 2015
And you’re watching and you’re like “here we go. Better late than never.”
— brans💋n reese (@bransonreese) November 23, 2015
