Simply 43 hot takes on the rather warm weather right now
23.
I hate this heat. I get too hot and make bad decisions. I took my kids to the park to play frisbee and now one of them has a face tattoo and I swapped the other for magic beans.
— Ned Hartley (@NedHartley) July 1, 2018
24.
Day six thousand of the British heatwave. Public transport is now a travel sauna. Our homes are furious heat boxes where we sit waiting for death. Air conditioners are only available on the dark web. A man wearing skinny jeans explodes from friction. We are doomed.
— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) July 2, 2018
25.
Halloween Goths are fucken part timers, you want to be a Goth you’d better be wearing skinny jeans in today’s heat. Velvet cape. The fucking lot.
— Bethany Black (@BeffernieBlack) June 30, 2018
26.
#heatwave
Cars are melting.
Ginger people are exploding in the street.
Ice poles are now more expensive than a bar of gold.
Goths have fled the country.
A dwarf is living in my fridge.
The ice cream van is under military control.
Anarchy reigns— joe heenan (@joeheenan) June 25, 2018
27.
Absolutely love the British Summer. It's one's favourite week of the year. #heatwave
— Prince Charles (@Charles_HRH) June 25, 2018
28.
I’m not saying it’s really hot or anything but I have just seen an old lady without a cardigan on.
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) June 25, 2018
29.
During this period of intense warm weather, Theresa May has urged us all to check on our vulnerable and elderly neighbours, and if they have an extra bedroom, report them to the DWP. #heatwave
— Guffers (@gavmacn) June 25, 2018
30.
This glorious sunny weather won't last, mark my words. In a few million years the universe will be a frozen, lifeless void.
— paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) June 25, 2018
31.
Nervous this morning. If the weather stays nice I may have to put on shorts and the Judge from last time used the phrase ‘final warning’.
— Damien Owens (@OwensDamien) June 25, 2018
32.
Barbara had been blowing for ages but it still wasn't as firm as she would have liked #heatwave pic.twitter.com/7ajoyNm22b
— nudinits (@nudinits) June 25, 2018
33.
It's too fucking hot to lay siege to Castle Grayskull today so I'm just going to stay in eating mint Cornettos and watch the football in my pants. pic.twitter.com/yWI9kWYbbk
— Skeletor (@GrumpySkeletor) June 26, 2018
34.
Who remembers clouds?
— Coupe de Mooms (@Danny_McMoomins) June 25, 2018
35.
A heatwave hits Britain. A confused and sticky population begins to panic buy random items out of fear and sweaty uncertainty. One man runs into a shop and buys 6 ice creams and a tennis racket. Why? Heat madness. Help us.
— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) June 25, 2018
36.
All British people when the temperature goes above 20C#heatwave pic.twitter.com/m6liDDPhGt
— Channel 4 (@Channel4) June 25, 2018
37.
If you get the urge in this heatwave to strip off naked and jump in the shower for a quick freshen up just be warned that the security guards in B&Q can get quite snooty about it.
I know this now.
— Pearly (@londonlass666) June 25, 2018
38.
Rules of a #heatwave:
1. Leather sofas are out of bounds until mid-October
2. Temperatures must be compared to ‘since records began’
3. No one – and we mean no one – is allowed to say ‘It’s too hot’— innocent drinks (@innocent) June 26, 2018
39.
What a heatwave. It's not yet nine in the morning and I just fried an egg on the top of my car. Real problems getting the cooker up there, but worth it.
— paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) June 26, 2018
40.
How unpleasant will your tube journey home be today?
A useful guide from TfL: #heatwave pic.twitter.com/BbKI4tqPRf
— Andrew Bloch (@AndrewBloch) June 25, 2018
41.
https://twitter.com/holly/status/1011233508348620800
42.
Also in this weather remember Goths die in Hot cars. Even “a few minutes” can be too much for them. If you see a Goth trapped in a hot car, call the police, and if in doubt smash the window let them out. #GothsDieInHotCars
— Bethany Black (@BeffernieBlack) June 25, 2018
43.
Me during Winter: it is too dark and cold to be happy
Me during Summer: it is too hot and bright to be happy
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) June 25, 2018
