Simply 43 hot takes on the rather warm weather right now
Rumours of sightings of rain clouds are beginning to surface, sales of barbecue sauce have slowed to a dribble and supermarkets are wondering whether they were justified in filling three freezers with bagged ice cubes. The heatwave, however, is still with us – for now.
These 43 tweets will take your mind off the almost unbearable urge to gorge yourself on Soleros.
I'm fucking hot
I'm fucking hot
Christ I'm fucking hot.
— Kath 💙🙀😷❄️🇪🇺✊🏾 (@KathyBurke) July 7, 2018
Sunstroke, all dead. pic.twitter.com/avdsEOdDg8
— David Stokes (@scottywrotem) July 8, 2018
Get your “I’m too fucking hot & sweaty to sleep tonight” name by adding I’m too fucking hot & sweaty to sleep tonight to your name.
Joe I’m too fucking hot & sweaty to sleep tonight Heenan
— joe heenan (@joeheenan) July 8, 2018
The British heatwave continues. No one has slept in weeks because sleep is now a sticky nightmare. Somewhere in the country someone tries to drink a cup of tea as it bursts into flames. Morris dancers desperately try to emulate a rain dance and fail. We are doomed.
— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) July 16, 2018
This isny even a heatwave anymore, is it? There's no end to this weather. We just live in a hot country now, don't we? We'll rename it Hotland. We've done it. We live in the sunshine now like we always wanted & now we're just sweaty, miserable idiots. I hope we're happy.
— Daw (@_dcalg) July 8, 2018
Despite the heatwave & the fact that I am made out of ham & should not be left out unrefrigerated, I'm having a hot tea. I will not be intimidated into having an "ice-tea" like a psychopath.
— Aisling Bea (@WeeMissBea) July 8, 2018
sex is good and all but have you walked into the supermarket chilled section during the heatwave
— nerdy and ✨fabulous✨ (@HooiWanV) July 8, 2018
Everyone complaining about the sun: I promise you, really soon the weather will revert to the 47-weeks-a-year miserable damp-cold horseshit that makes you want to blow your brains out. So just let us have this, please?
— Mark Watson (@watsoncomedian) July 9, 2018
If it's hot where you are, please stay inside and drink plenty of
fluids. Unless you deny climate change! In which case, thirst is also just fake science, so you should just drink sawdust!
— Bette Midler (@BetteMidler) July 9, 2018
You (a British person): IT'S A HEATWAVE!
Me (an Australian): You guys are cute. pic.twitter.com/inLHiZ53GE
— Bec Hill a.k.a Be Chill (@bechillcomedian) July 9, 2018
Referendum to have law placed in constitution that if the weather is hotter than 25 degrees, work is cancelled.
— Sue Kirk (@SueKirk) June 27, 2018
It’s 2038. It’s been summer for 20 years. Deodorant is now £15. We slide to work on sweat. Calippo is our queen
— Rachael (@RachaelvsWorld) July 5, 2018
— joe heenan (@joeheenan) July 2, 2018
Those who remember the summer of 1976 with fondness didn't have a car with vinyl seats. #heatwave
— Peter Smith (@Redpeter99) July 1, 2018
— TwistedDoodles (@twisteddoodles) June 30, 2018
— Hopeless Surfer (@HopelessSurfer) June 28, 2018
#Heatwave: Councils across the UK rejoice after melting roads begin to fill in their own potholes.
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) June 27, 2018
“I can’t run in this weather”
– me with any weather
— Craig Deeley 🇪🇺🏳️🌈 (@craiguito) July 1, 2018
Folk think Scotland has a drink problem. Imagine we had this weather 6 months of the year!! Would have a life expectancy of 30.
— Geeksy (@GeeksyMilligan) June 27, 2018
More from the Poke
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Actor Eddie Marsan said he preferred dinner parties to pubs and class war erupted