This thread went viral because it’s funny and we actually learned something
Your Friend Helen – that’s her name, not your friend, although she might also be your friend – had this to say on Twitter.
Please tell me what you are unapologetically pedantic about. (Mine is a tie between clarifying that not all instrumental music is classical, and noting that “factoid” doesn’t mean “small fact.”)
Do not say “literally.” This is a literally-as-intensifier safe space. Thx.
— your friend Helen (@hels) June 11, 2018
There was a qualification.
Ultra bonus if the thing you’re pedantic about isn’t a grammar thing.
— your friend Helen (@hels) June 11, 2018
And the answers went viral because they were funny and struck a chord with so many people. Plus (shock horror) we actually learned something.
Here’s a whole bunch of our favourites.
1.
people using jealousy to mean envy drives me up the fuckin wall
— tc (@chillmage) June 11, 2018
Wait explain the diff?
— your friend Helen (@hels) June 11, 2018
jealous is vigilant (the dragon jealously guards its treasure), envy is covetous (the adventurer is envious of the dragon’s treasure)
— tc (@chillmage) June 11, 2018
people have collapsed this distinction over the years so whatever but I hate the destruction of nice words!
— tc (@chillmage) June 11, 2018
2.
begging the question, could care less
— Jaime Green 🌿 (@jaimealyse) June 11, 2018
omg jinx (i once had an argument about “could care less” with a friend in high school that literally lasted HOURS)
— devon maloney (@dynamofire) June 11, 2018
The way I process this so as not to die is that I assume everyone saying “I could care less” is being witheringly sarcastic
— your friend Helen (@hels) June 11, 2018
3.
The term “Begging the Question” doesn’t mean “raising the question,” it means “using the thing you are trying to prove in the premise of your argument.” I have almost never heard this term being used correctly outside of the introductory philosophy course where I learned it.
— Blurry Cat Face (@wgolling) June 12, 2018
4.
5yo daughter/future paleontologist, being quizzed by a nice lady in the line at Target:
NL: What’s your name?
P: Petra.
NL: That’s a nice name, do you know what letter that starts with?
P: P.
NL: Do you know any other words that start with P?
P: Pteranodon.— Aili Huber (@howletswing) June 11, 2018
NL: Oh. Yes, that does start with P. Is that your favorite dinosaur?
P: No. Pteranodons are pterosaurs, not dinosaurs.P is also for Pedantic, and clearly we start that very early in my family.
— Aili Huber (@howletswing) June 11, 2018
I adore this
— your friend Helen (@hels) June 11, 2018
6.
Misuse of apostrophes especially in names of businesses. I have refused to shop at places because their sign confused plurals with possessive. As in “Franks Taco’s”. I will fight to the death on this
— Mike DeGeorge (@mdegeorge42) June 11, 2018
I went to a truck called Taco’s and was beyond delighted to learn that the owner’s nickname was Taco
— Brian, Asleep (@BrianAsleep) June 11, 2018
7.
Many people say “literally” when they literally mean figuratively. “After eating that dessert she literally exploded.”
— Richard Shepro (@rshepro) June 11, 2018
Did you literally not read my tweet jfc
— your friend Helen (@hels) June 11, 2018
8.
Apologies if this is a UK (or Scottish) thing but the expression “cheap at half the price” irritates me beyond belief. It’s used to signify something being cheap when it means nothing of the sort.
— Liam Murray (@LiamMurray) June 11, 2018
It’s a corruption of “cheap at twice the price,” which actually makes sense :/
— your friend Helen (@hels) June 11, 2018
9.
I’m a proud defender of the subjunctive. It’s “if I were” not if “if I was”!
— Surreal Estate Agent (@NighswanderArt) June 11, 2018
This has ruined at least two songs for me (“homeward bound” by s&g and “wish” by Pearl Jam)
— your friend Helen (@hels) June 11, 2018
10.
Anti-aircraft fire is “flak”, not “flack”.
Confining laces are “strait”, not “straight”.
To hold your breath you “bate” (as in, “abate”) it; you don’t “bait” it.
— Eric Rauchway (@rauchway) March 16, 2018
11.
Also, you should always takes eggs out of a carton in a way that leaves it balanced for the next person picking it up. https://t.co/RfFJxklLsO
— Deb Chachra (@debcha) June 11, 2018
…and with the heavier end closest to the door (if it is horizontal to the door)
— Under the Smoky Eye of Sauron (@GallopinDragons) June 11, 2018
12.
Animals don’t have epidemics. They have epizootics.
— Richard Keller (@RichardCKeller) June 11, 2018
ooooooooh this is a fantastic new word for me, thank you!
— your friend Helen (@hels) June 11, 2018
