People are sharing stories of the stuff they believed as children and it’ll make you want to join in

Normal Bates. Updated March 8th, 2018

@Jenashleywright over on Twitter is asking “What’s the weirdest thing you remember misunderstanding as a kid?” and people are answering in their droves – here’s 21 of the best.

I also thought clowns were born looking that way. I’d been told it was VERY RUDE to point or laugh at anyone who looked different, so at kindergarten birthdays I would gaze at them with respectful solemnity, like a little Queen Victoria.

— Jennifer Wright (@JenAshleyWright) March 7, 2018

I used to think seahorses were mythical creatures like unicorns or pegasuses (pegasi?). I…umm…was well in my 20s before I saw one in aquarium and discovered the truth.

— dan fROMDELAWARE (@deadlydannyray) March 7, 2018

When I used to put away cutlery I would always imagine them talking to each other and would always try and pair them up so they had a buddy when they went to “school”, if they were odd numbered I’d whisper, “You guys are going to be a group of three this time it’s okay”

— Kilogram (@Kgisamazing1) March 8, 2018

I thought watergate was an actual gate. like a dam that holds back water.

— Mari (writer/editor) (@mariadkins92) March 7, 2018

Also while reciting the Lord's Prayer as a kid, I always pictured God in front of an easel because "Our Father, who ART in heaven…"

— Kathy Werner (@lifeliner2) March 7, 2018

I thought the Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band were some rip-off artists who were trying too hard to sound like the Beatles. Older sister eventually reconciled me to the reality. https://t.co/Ez2QaUkcpG

— David Simon (@AoDespair) March 8, 2018

I thought the phrase was 'the ghost is clear' and it meant all the ghosts present were incorporeal so it was a-ok to continue onward https://t.co/8Fdd5aPXIu

— Keezy Young (@KeezyBees) March 8, 2018

I thought a divorce involved a public ceremony before family and friends like a wedding, but everyone wore black and the couple walked down the aisle together at the start and separately at the end. https://t.co/nqEBruyAaM

— Josh Barro (@jbarro) March 8, 2018

I thought that a dishwasher worked by just filling itself with a giant cube of very hot water. And by "kid" I mean I learned this was not true two years ago when my roommate opened it mid-wash, despite my scream not to https://t.co/qUW6FCvo1K

— Stephen Smith (@smithsj) March 8, 2018

10.

I can believe it. As a kid I was worried my family might be vampires because my mother was from Pennsylvania. Eventually a teacher pulled me aside & dropped a truth bomb about Transylvania being a different thing. But it was some serious shit for a while! Folks laugh at me too

— John Edward Lawson (@bizarroguy) March 7, 2018

11.

I thought cottage cheese was just like regular cheese but made in small houses in the country.

— The Daily Nonprofit (@Maggie4Beers) March 7, 2018

12.

I used to confuse 'agile' and 'ugly' and spent a lot of time being really upset by nature magazines being jerks to animals I liked.

— Dave Rudden: THE ENDLESS KING 22/3 (@d_ruddenwrites) March 7, 2018

13.

Assumed TV presenters could see who was watching. I refused to turn a show off even if I didn’t like it because I thought it would be so demoralising for them that they’d just give up once I’d gone. Kept watching and smiling at the TV to encourage them.

— Elizabeth Clark (@lizziekclark) March 7, 2018

14.

I didn't think they could see me, but I used to think that the laugh track was actually recording people in their homes laughing, and so I'd laugh louder to try and contribute.

— David Dennison (@bj_duvall) March 7, 2018

15.

I thought Maxi pads were notepads so I wrote messages on them and stuck them all over my door.

— REAL kj martin = Mediocre Alex Baldwin (@martin_kj) March 7, 2018

16.

I also wanted to work at the grocery store as a cashier because the checkout lady used to always say “I have to count MY register and go home” then take the drawer full of cash so I thought the cashier got paid whatever was in the drawer. ☺️

— OKoye (@HarlighQuinn) March 7, 2018

17.

I misheard "Navy blue" as "maybe blue" and I ran with it because it sure was hard to tell if it was blue or not.

— Theresa Dorsey Meis (@FireBUnicorn) March 7, 2018

18.

I thought getting fired meant you got, I dunno, blasted with a flamethrower or something and ended up covered in freckles. (Because my parents told me quietly that their friend had gotten fired, and she had a ton of freckles.)

— Anna Maltby (@amalt) March 7, 2018

19.

I was about 5 and asked my Mom when the world got color because I didn’t understand the difference between black&white and colored photos. I just thought the world used to be b&w!

— JuliaAldenelli (@JuliaAldenelli7) March 7, 2018

20.

All right. My son, when he was 4, had 2 routes home from daycare. He thought we owned 2 matching houses, full of the duplicate items (including the dog), at the end of each route.

— Wetterschneider (@Stretchedwiener) March 7, 2018

21.

A friend and I (both around 5 yrs old) thought the word "sexual" meant something like "sophisticated" so we went around the grocery store saying "that's so sexual" about things until her mom told us to stop.

— Crooked Elizabeth (@ElizabelleM) March 7, 2018

And finally…

I remember thinking that politicians were fundamentally good people who cared about their country.

— Brian Davis (@Briandaviscpa) March 7, 2018

Please share your childhood misapprehensions on the comments on Facebook or Twitter.