50 ‘short, clean jokes that get a laugh every time’ to ease your hangover
If you’re suffering a little bit after welcoming in 2018 – and bidding a furious alcoholic good riddance to 2017 – then these should soothe your aching soul (and head).
So that’s why we found this thread on Reddit where Scarlett_j asked “what’s a short, clean joke that gets a laugh every time?” to be the perfect way to spend a bit of time.
And here’s 50 of the very best answers:
What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.
I bought my friend an elephant for his room.
He said “Thanks”
I said “Don’t mention it”
I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible.
This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder.
My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep.
I said “40”
What’s the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing.
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high.
She seemed surprised.
I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo.
I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
Two clowns are eating a cannibal.
One turns to the other and says “I think we got this joke wrong”
My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
I poured root beer in a square glass.
Now I just have beer.
My friend says to me: “what rhymes with orange”
I said: “no it doesn’t”
And God said to John, come forth and you shall be granted eternal life.
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
How many opticians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Is it one or two? One… or two?
What do we want?
Low flying airplane noises!
When do we want them?
Why did the old man fall in the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
Whatdya call a frenchman wearing sandals?
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?
So what if I don’t know what Armageddon means? It’s not the end of the world
I went bobsleighing the other day, killed 250 bobs
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.