25 funniest Christmas tweets of all time
Merry Christmas Poke readers, here’s 25 funny Christmas tweets to take you all the way to Christmas Day.
Take it away little Twitter elves.
Top tip: this winter, hide a collection of bones in your snowman as a surprise for the children when it melts.
— MꙬse Allain (@MooseAllain) January 31, 2015
Christmas break is like going to visit your Facebook feed in person.
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) December 23, 2014
"I don't want a lot for Christmas."
"All I want for Christmas is you."
EXACTLY WHAT DOES THAT DO FOR MY SELF-CONFIDENCE, MARIAH.
— Sacha Fernando (@sacha_is_good) December 14, 2014
It doesn't feel like I'm truly home for the holidays until I've taken my parents' phones and said "Here let me show you" at least 25 times.
— Ari Scott (@ariscott) December 19, 2016
if you like christmas so much why don't you merry it
— Fro Vo (@fro_vo) December 23, 2013
My cat forgets what a Christmas tree is every year and it's wonderful pic.twitter.com/LlY3lx5BnJ
— August J. Pollak (@AugustJPollak) December 2, 2016
On the 13th day of Christmas, my true love said to me, "I think I might be a hoarder."
— Jen Statsky (@jenstatsky) December 18, 2012
It's at Christmas time that we think about our loved ones and those that aren't with us anymore, RIP, gone but never forgotten pic.twitter.com/BKn0B0COVi
— Chris (@chrisblighttt) December 24, 2016
*looks at toblerone*
*looks at family member who voted for Brexit*
*looks back at toblerone* pic.twitter.com/H4KcNO64o0
— Noel Slorance (@neilslorance) December 25, 2016
there's the culprit she can't move pic.twitter.com/BDsMlYT2UW
— Davyyyy (@David_Barrett5) December 24, 2016
"In closing, one would like to note the various inaccuracies found in Netflix's The Crown." pic.twitter.com/4G2x6KJDb8
— Philippe Lagassé (@pmlagasse) December 25, 2016
— Ravindu Thimantha G. (@IamRavindu) December 25, 2016
MY HERO pic.twitter.com/Oh8CD0cMT8
— Keough Novak (@KeoNovak) December 24, 2016
MY MOM HANDED ME A GIFT SO I OPENED IT AND SCREAMED REALLY LOUD BECAUSE I THOUGHT SHE GOT ME A DILDO BUT ITS REALLY JUST A YETI CUP HOLDER pic.twitter.com/bLJnTxDf1B
— shelby (@robertsshelby57) December 25, 2016
If your mam doesn't frantically gather the wrapping paper into a binbag whilst the presents are being opened is she even your mam?
— Martyn (@martynhett) December 24, 2016
My friend got her cat a tank for Christmas and it's amazing. pic.twitter.com/9xaVIhZxZM
— Chris Godfrey (@ChrisPJGodfrey) December 24, 2016
Didn't know the Queen had joined Starfleet Medical. pic.twitter.com/N5sTlh6nXN
— Ben Verth (@BenVerth) December 25, 2016
Charlie always thinks the clementines are balls and just stares waiting for you to throw one. pic.twitter.com/LGxNWgtOBE
— Ben Hyde-Hart (@benhydehart) December 23, 2016
Top 10 gifts for baby's first Christmas!
2. A stick
3. Seriously it doesn't matter they won't remember
— Shawn (@online_shawn) November 11, 2015
for the 7th year in a row, Rick Astley refuses to give his wife her favorite Pixar movie for Christmas
— dan mentos (@DanMentos) December 1, 2015
The older you get the more holidays become about keeping your father off a ladder
— shut up, mike ginn (@shutupmikeginn) November 27, 2014
8 maids a milking is probably the only day of Christmas I can jack off to
— Jeffrey Hadz (@Hadzilla) December 11, 2013
Hooray it’s Christmas!
Get into the Christmas spirit by remembering how cool Joseph was about an invisible guy impregnating his lady Mary.
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) December 8, 2011
Bonus boxing day joke for the left over turkey*
in 2005 me and my college buddies made the turkey carcass into a bong. happy Thanksgiving everybody pic.twitter.com/qgwcyuWE77
— the garbage shit boy (@davedittell) November 25, 2015
* Yes we know it’s a thanksgiving joke, but we like the idea of the Christmas joint…