This social faux pas prompted a rush of similar confessions and they’re brilliant
17.
I once answered the phone at Shelter by saying “hallo, Shelter, National Campaign for the Hopeless” and was mortified
— Ruth Morgan (@motheranxious) November 9, 2017
18.
A man approached my brother (nervously, these occasions are always awkward after all) at my father’s wake, extended his hand and then said ‘Congratulations’ as he shook it.
In fairness he then dissolved in a horror fit of embarrassment and apology.
It was massively funny.
— Aidan McNelis (@aidanmcnelis) November 9, 2017
19.
Plumber said to me 'I've got the same wall tiles as you' & I said 'I know' because I've lost the capacity to converse correctly with anyone.
— Michael Spicer (@MrMichaelSpicer) July 16, 2016
20.
The endless times I’ve saluted a bus driver as I get off, with, ‘Thanks, Mum’.
— lucyinglis (@lucyinglis) November 9, 2017
21.
Out running one morning, I met a man walking his dog, got confused whether to say hello or good morning, ended up shouting HORNING at him instead
— Roz (@rozknitroz) November 9, 2017
22.
😂 Caught sight of an ex-boss of mine from some years ago. Brain not sure whether to go for ‘Hi’ or ‘Hello’. Greeted her by shouting an enthusiastic ‘ ‘Ho!’ across the street. I can never leave the house again
— SybilX (@idit5) November 9, 2017
23.
Friday before last bank holiday, graduate in the office gets up to leave. Not sure whether to say have a nice weekend or bank holiday, he instead cheerfully blurted out:
“Have a nice wank holiday”— Robbo (@tunerobot) November 9, 2017
24.
This thread is hilarious. And this one reminds me off the time I asked for £200 worth of Friss Wanks in the Post Office.
— Mary Gillespie (@marygillespie4) November 9, 2017
25.
Once forgot a colleague’s name in a meeting, my brain completely froze, so I just pointed and said “this woman”. Mortified.
— Alistair Coleman (@alistaircoleman) November 9, 2017
26.
On one occasion when spelling out my surname over the phone I began with “M for millipede…” I then proceeded to spell out ‘millipede’.
— Lee Madgwick (@LeeMadgwick) November 10, 2017
27.
In the shop buying birthday cards and as I took the Change instead of saying “Thank you” I said “Happy Birthday”. Perfect. 👌🏼
— JH Lewis Author (@JenHLewi) November 9, 2017
28.
My mum once phoned me on my birthday to wish me a happy new year.
— Andy Horton (@fechtbuch) November 10, 2017
And here’s just a flavour of what people made of the thread.
My mother died three weeks ago (not a joke) I haven't laughed much since but reading this thread has left me helpless and feeling happy. Thanks😊
— LooseEnd (@lattegirl10) November 9, 2017
Still want more? You can follow the entire thread here. Full of gold (and share any we missed).
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