This social faux pas prompted a rush of similar confessions and they’re brilliant
Over on Twitter, @MooseAllain had something to get off his chest after he made a mildly embarrassing social faux pas in a shop.
Accidentally said "Many thank you" to a woman in a shop.
— MꙬse Allain (@MooseAllain) November 9, 2017
It prompted a whole rush of other similar confessions because – let’s face it – it’s the sort of thing we’ve all done at one time or another.
Here are our favourites. And send us yours in the comments!
1.
Once, a colleague politely asked if she could ask a question. I muddled up “fire away” and “go ahead”, telling her to “go away”.
— James Panton (@jamespanton) November 9, 2017
2.
I was complaining that I’d printed something on the wrong type of paper whilst also answering a call. I said “good afternoon, yellow paper” and then immediately hung up in shock/embarrassment.
— Abulic Monkey 🐒 (@abulic_monkey) November 9, 2017
3.
I once said to a woman whose dog was sniffing my trouser leg “I bet he can smell my pussy.” The silence that followed was beyond stony. I do own a cat.
— Jo Short (@thebrainofspock) November 9, 2017
4.
In a bistro in France, @LReb82 had some lovely pea soup. With genuine enthusiasm she loudly declared “you can really taste the pea-ness.”
— Dan Rebellato (@DanRebellato) November 9, 2017
5.
Brilliant! Someone remarked on how big the cat is to me the other day and I meant to say “he’s like a panther” whilst deciding against saying “I hope you don’t mean fat” and I actually said, “He is my father”.
— Liz Buckley (@liz_buckley) November 10, 2017
6.
at school a friend wanted a packet of smokey bacon crisps but actually asked the dinner lady for a “smacket of pokey bacon”
— sonofajoiner (@sonofajoiner) November 9, 2017
7.
“You too” is a response I have used more than once when wished a happy birthday.
— Darren Jalland (@larbertred) November 9, 2017
8.
My daughter loudly demands “cock prawntail crisps”
— Jenny Mclaughlin (@jennymaclondon) November 9, 2017
9.
Takes me back to the mortifying “stiffy cocky pudding” episode.
— Barcodezebra (@MatthewPerren) November 9, 2017
10.
‘Large Cockporn’ in the cinema once
— David Keogh (@tweetfoggy) November 9, 2017
11.
Jogged past school kids last night: one speaks out ‘have a nice jog’ *cute* I reply ‘You too’ *less cute*. He was in no way shape or form jogging
— C Mc (@CMc_New) November 9, 2017
12.
Ah yes. Departing from a friend, I went to say “Take care” but then my brain thought “All the best”. So I ended up saying “Take the best.”. Take. The. Best.
— SimonNRicketts (@SimonNRicketts) November 9, 2017
13.
Had an excruciating one recently. Walked past my neighbour in the street. She said “Hello, how are you?” Heard myself reply: “And you, bye.”
— Rhodri Marsden (@rhodri) November 9, 2017
14.
Saw the Doctor before going on holiday. ‘Have a good time in Portugal’ she said as I left. ‘You too,’ I replied before dying in horrible cringe agony in the waiting room.
— David Lewis (@davidclewis) November 9, 2017
15.
I answered the phone at work and instead of saying ‘Can I help you’ or ‘Please hold for a moment’ I said ‘Can I hold you’
— AnnieR (@biggybaggyboggy) November 9, 2017
16.
It’s so easy to do especially if you’re not really concentrating. Another time I answeeed the phone and said ‘Hello. Can you help me?’
— AnnieR (@biggybaggyboggy) November 9, 2017