Exclusive

Come planet Nibiru! 29 reasons we hope it’s the end of the world today

What are you doing today?

We’re enjoying the end of the world, after conspiracy theorists predicted that on September 23 – that’s today – Planet X (or Nibiru if you prefer) will come smashing into Earth and wipe out all life as we know it.

Here’s 29 reasons why that’s really no bad thing. See you on the other side!

1.

2.

No more Nigel Farage.

3.

No more Christmas adverts in September.

4.

No more centrists vs left rows.

5.

No more relatable content.

6.

7.

No more socks with holes in them that ever so slightly cut your toes.

8.

No more hot takes.

9.

No more children who refuse to go to bed.

10.

No more bits of thin ham that get stuck between your teeth for hours.

11.

No more unexpectedly walking into cobwebs.

12.

13.

No more estate agents.

14.

No more people who think mustard needs to be kept in the fridge.

15.

No more desperate 80’s nostalgia.

16.

No more catching your clothes on a door handle.

17.

18.

No more No more Michael Gove.

19.

No more people playing the drums on their legs on public transport.

20.

No more Americans calling Lego “Legos”

21.

No More “Sorry you were out cards” from the postman when you were in.

22.

No more paying £5.20 for a pint.

23.

No more pop up adverts.

24.

25.

No more Piers Morgan saying something controversial for money.

26.

No more unexpected items in bagging areas.

27.

No more Question Time.

28.

29.

No more listicles.

JUST GLORIOUS SILENCE. COME SWEET DEATH COME, WE ARE READY.