This reader’s letter to the Isle of Wight County Press is MAXIMUM PARTRIDGE

Poke Staff. Updated June 17th, 2019

This reader’s letter to the Isle of Wight County Press about “the power of hand dryers” is so Alan Partridge you probably can’t stop yourself from reading it in his voice.

MAXIMUM PARTRIDGE HAS BEEN ACHIEVED

REPEAT

MAXIMUM PARTRIDGE HAS BEEN ACHIEVED

(with many thanks to @IWCPEmily and @iwcponline!) pic.twitter.com/ihP4YdP3dX

— Pointless Letters (@pointlesslettrs) June 26, 2017

The best bit? Without a doubt this line:

“I can still grip my cutlery with minimal slip” is perfection. It’s the equivalent of “String back just gives you a bit of extra purchase”.

— Liam 🐢 (@BackInTheCrowd) June 26, 2017