British economy booms after ‘polling station’ sign manufacturers report record sales

The UK economy has shown rapid signs of recovery after the announcement of another national vote has led to a massive increase in sales of polling station signs.

“When the country only made important decisions every five years many people were happy to print out a polling station sign on some bits of A4 that they clumsily taped together,” said Roger Frontispiece, spokesman for the UK Polling Station Signage Industry (UKPSSI).

“But now we vote on things every few months it makes sense to invest in more permanent placards – to give voters a high-class, sophisticated polling experience with proper signs that don’t disintegrate in the rain or don’t have to be blu-tacked to a window.”

An upsurge in pencil sales has also been reported, though it is unclear if this is due to people wanting to use their own dedicated ‘voting pencils’ – or if they want something to jab in their eyes when faced with two months of non-stop, divisive, election campaigning from politicians.