45 jokes written by children that are funnier than anything written by adults

Kids Write Jokes is a brilliant Twitter account where they run all the rejected submissions for a joke website written by kids – and of course the rejected jokes are better than the proper stuff.

Here’s about 45 or so of their best:

how do you stop a zombie from eating your hed
you dont

I have a butt
Sir we all have butts

WHAT DID JOKER SAY TO BATMAN YOUR SO STUPID

HEY WHATS FOR DINNER COW POO SIR IT IS THE FRENCH WAY

why wolves howl?
because they have no idea what are they doing

Q. what did the cheese say to the moldy cheese?
A.you look unwell i will take you to Dr cheese

everythig I thouch dies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what did the floor say to the chair get off me u fat idiot

there was two fish in a tank and one of the fish said do you know how to drive this thing BECAUSE THE FISH ARE DRIVEING THE TANK IN A WAR

what do you get when you cross the road run over

what did the man do with time wasted it

How do you get a tissue to dance? You put a little boogie in it
( DONT TRY THIS AT HOME ANYBODY)

gess how many snakes
there are 13

What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?
Shut up

man: you are evil
other man: i am not
man:yes no yes no yes no yes no yes no
[both mans die]

why did the chicken marry the crocodile
because crocodooladoo is good family name.

what do you call a donkey with a millon eyes and a millon legs.
a monster

wat do you coll a spider with no legs.
a hairy piece of trash !!!!!!!!!!!!

what did the skeliton say to the toilet
“you will get nothing out of me i am all bones”

docter docter i hit my head
what do you want me to do stupid

Knock, knock
who’s there?
Posh
Posh who?
Posh lady,bye I have to go and shop i need more hats

if you go to the ham contest wat will the man say
you won last year you are not alowed

why do sharks have eyes
so they dont eat there best pals

what did the leaf say to the docter?
“docter docter i hurt my head”
“leave me alone im chilling.”

how do you lose four pounds
cut your hed off

why do monkeys eat banana
because bananas are not afraid

what is the capital of egg.
York

why is a hotdog called a HOTdog
because it is sexy

what do you call a tiger with glasses on?
a scientist tiger

a boys name is shut up.
his teacher asked him his name and he said “shut up”
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

your a bin
no I m not
you look like one
ok I am

why did tom and jerry get married
Because tom was a boy and jerry was a boy and they were strong as a toliet.

why is the mash potato not cool?
Beause it isnt wearing sun glasses.

man:waiter how long will my pizza be ?
waiter:not very long.
lol

Why do all girls wear make up and perfume ?
They are ugly and they smell

why shoudnt you go to the fridge without permition
because it will come for its revenge

CAN YOU FART
DO IT NOW

Q:why did the monkey fall out the tree
A:because it was DEAD

what did the orange do in the tree?
orange buisness

knok knock
whos there
your stupid peiness

q:who is the disgusting boy band
a:the beatles

a man found a raisin in the woods.
“what a funny looking raisin.”
“im not a raisin im just an ant with no legs.”

what do get when you cross a vampire, homework and brusel sprouts
i dont know its probalely super dangerous

knock knock.
who’s there?
a fis. a fis who?
a fisherman.
go away!
i already have hundreds of fish.

your mum is so thin if she eats a bean she are pregnat

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