These ‘British Problems’ will make you cringe and laugh at the same time
- Overtaking someone on foot and having to keep up the uncomfortably fast pace until safely over the horizon
- Being unable to turn and walk in the opposite direction without first taking out your phone and frowning at it
- Deeming it necessary to do a little jog over zebra crossings, while throwing in an apologetic mini wave
- Punishing people who don’t say thank you by saying “you’re welcome” as quietly as possible
- Loudly tapping your fingers at the cashpoint, to assure the queue that you’ve asked for money and the wait is out of your hands
- Looking away so violently as someone nearby enters their PIN that you accidentally dislocate your neck
- Being sure to start touching your bag 15 minutes before your station, so the person in the aisle seat is fully prepared for your exit
- Repeatedly pressing the door button on the train before it’s illuminated, to assure your fellow commuters you have the situation in hand
- Having someone sit next to you on the train, meaning you’ll have to eat your crisps at home
- The huge sense of relief after your perfectly valid train ticket is accepted by the inspector
- The horror of someone you only half know saying: “Oh I’m getting that train too”
- “Sorry, is anyone sitting here?” – Translation: Unless this is a person who looks remarkably like a bag, I suggest you move it
- Worrying you’ve accidentally packed 3 kilos of cocaine and a dead goat as you stroll through “Nothing to declare”
- Being unable to stand and leave without first saying “right”
- Not hearing someone for the third time, so just laughing and hoping for the best
- Saying “anywhere here’s fine” when the taxi’s directly outside your front door
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