10 best responses to new advice to eat 10 fruit and veg a day

Five portions of fruit and veg is just not enough anymore according to new expert advice – experts, eh? – telling us to eat 10 if we want to live beyond next week.

Ten???

In the spirit of the new advice, here’s the 10 best comebacks on Twitter.

1.

The year is 2037. Doctors prescribe 40 pieces of fruit and veg a day. Kids sleep with intravenous broccoli drips. Everyone smells of carrot.

— Castaignede (@Castaignede) February 23, 2017

2.

So we now have to up our daily portions of fruit and veg to #10aday?
It'll be a struggle fitting in 4 more glasses of wine but I'll try.

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) February 23, 2017

3.

10 portions of fruit/veg a day is a great idea if you want to die of the shits. Think they're trying to thin out the herd with this advice.

— Vivienne (@miss_vivienne) February 23, 2017

4.

If they're now saying I should eat TEN portions of fruit and veg a day, Chewits will have to up their game and add a few more flavours.

— Jason (@NickMotown) February 23, 2017

5.

I really hope this new target of 10 fruit and veg per day is in binary.

— Gary Delaney (@GaryDelaney) February 23, 2017

6.

Scientists: "You need to eat 800g ( 10 portions of fruit and veg) a day"
Me: Ok…
…….
Later: pic.twitter.com/lqy1Mz2Q4S

— Declan Cashin (@Tweet_Dec) February 23, 2017

7.

I don't think I could even name 10 different portions of fruit and veg…. https://t.co/EmYgunW87D

— Neil Walker (@sqwawk) February 23, 2017

8.

So eating 10 portions of fruit & veg a day can extend your life. Unfortunately the extra time will be spent eating fruit & veg and shitting.

— Mark Jones (@m0dernworld) February 23, 2017

9.

Eurghhh, I found it hard enough to eat 5 portions of fruit and veg a month. 10 portions a month is going to be impossible.

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) February 23, 2017

10.

So we're told eating 10 portions of fruit & veg a day may make us live longer..(and provide enough gas to run the central heating for 5yrs?)

— Kate Robbins (@KateRobbins) February 23, 2017

And just in case you wondered what 10 portions of fruit and veg looks like…

Forget five a day, eat 10 portions of fruit and veg to cut risk of early death! https://t.co/RExCy5KTGp

Could you manage 10 portions? pic.twitter.com/jbfaHtKrrH

— Simpleat Retreats (@SimpleatRetreat) February 23, 2017