Today’s Sun to come with free electron microscope so people can read the latest apology

The Sun is to give away over 250,000 scanning electron microscopes so that people can read the tiny apology they’ve been forced to write after making up a load of old bollocks again.

“Space in every edition of The Sun is incredibly valuable, so we don’t want to waste column inches printing apologies all the time – as it gets in the way of us filling the paper with lies, titillation, adverts and lies,” said a spokesman for News Group Newspapers Ltd.

“Obviously readers will have to foot the huge running costs of the electron microscope themselves, along with the tricky task embedding the apology in a finely polished resin so it can be viewed at a legible size.”

“We can’t be expected to do everything, like fact checking or showing empathy.”

The newspaper say that readers can find today’s apology hidden in a full stop somewhere on page 34.

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