16 deadpan Jeremy Corbyn jokes that are hilarious when you imagine Jeremy telling them

@Corbynjokes is a genius Twitter account based on the premise that “Jeremy hasn’t heard or told a joke since 1964” and now he’s trying his hand at socialist stand-up.

And it’s utterly WONDERFUL, comrade.

Here’s 16 of the very best:

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What’s red and doesn’t move?
Me

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A socialist lion walked into a bar, the barman said “what’s the big Clause Four?”

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A Putinist, a Baathist, a Stalinist and an anti-semite walked into a bar and the barman said “the Stop The War Christmas party is upstairs”

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Two men walked into a bar and held the next meeting of the shadow cabinet.

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I’m not saying I have sympathy for David Cameron, but I too have been ridiculed for being too friendly with ham ass.

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A man walks into a bar, but it’s not a bar anymore it’s a luxury housing development with prices starting at £595k for a one-bedroom flat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?
Neoliberalism.

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What have One Direction and the Labour Party got in common?
They’re both splitting up in October.

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A horse walked into a bar.
The breakdown of capitalism starts with agrarian chaos.

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Knock knock
Who’s there?
The interrupting Marxist
The int…
Revolution!

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How many Labour MPs does it take to change a lightbulb?
51. Or none. This is a matter for the NEC.

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A Marxist, a Marxist-Leninist and a Marxist-Leninist-Maoist walked into a bar.
It’s wonderful to see such variety at this year’s conference.

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Why did the pig cross the road?
To avoid David Cameron.

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How many shadow ministers does it take to change a lightbulb?
I don’t know. The lightbulb tends to outlast them.

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Knock knock
Who’s there?
Doctor
Doctor Who?
That’s right. Cuts to NHS funding WILL lead to fewer doctors.

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I’ve stopped going to my allotment in Islington because it’s a Blairite plot.

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Make sure you follow the workers revolution over on: @corbynjokes