Queen still a bit pissed from last night’s drinking
The Queen has admitted she is still pretty hammered from last night, after starting her 90th birthday celebrations with a pub crawl around Windsor.
“Things started to get a bit hairy after the fifth or sixth pint,” said Her Majesty this morning.
“I remember a few of the pubs – most seemed to be named after relatives of mine or something – but then Phil got a round of shots in and everything started to get very sketchy.”
“I just checked my phone and we apparently got an Uber back to the castle at around 2am, so fuck knows what happened.”
Despite the hangover, the Queen will still attend the various functions planned for today.
“I just hope I don’t throw up over the first child who tries to shove a bouquet of flowers into my hands. Jesus Christ, these birthday drinks are supposed to go on until June. I’ll definitely be having a dry July.”
