Weird World

This letter from a neighbour about loud sex is really, really weird and creepy

bed

BootPackin has posted this letter on Reddit with the comment, “My best friend’s little brother received this today… Friendly neighbors are the best neighbors.”

So first off, read the letter

Hello neighbors!

It’s cool and all that you’re gating laid and stuff but the bed squeaking is getting really annoying. I’m not asking you to stop, I ain’t no douche, I’m just asking you to find a way to make the bed a little bit quieter. Tighten up the screws or tie that bitch down. Have sex on the floor or on the couch.

I’m trying to be cool about it but one of the people that lives here is ready to make a noise complaint or something because it happens so late at night. But I can assure you that will not happen.

To show that we are cool with you getting laid, we have included some condoms for you to use.

Not sure if you have ever used them before or if you prefer a different brand, but these looked like a good choice.

Anyways enjoy the sex.

PS. We take no responsibility for broken condoms. This is true for all condoms so try to be safe dude. Don’t want a kid walking around anytime soon. XD

Now consider the following points:

  • Who the hell writes letters to the neighbours about sex anyway? If you’re going to complain about noise, why get that specific?
  • Sending condoms to strangers? Icky
  • The “friendly” threats, first off the mysterious third party, “one of the people that lives here is ready to make a noise”
  • The second threat being the implication the condoms might be tampered with, “We take no responsibility for broken condoms.”
  • This phrase, “tie that bitch down”, ok he’s referring to a bed, but coming in a passage about sex it’s suggestive of suppressed rage and violent misogyny

Basically we’re saying we’re glad we don’t live next door to this guy and his creepy notes

Source: http://imgur.com/XKBDOyF