Simply 21 fantastic Peter Serafinowicz one-liners

Male actress and comedienne, Peter Serafinowicz has been wowing his Twitter followers with his brilliant one-liners for 7 years, and we’ve picked 21 of his absolute best.

• “OOYL” – Yoda
• If the apocalypse doesn’t happen tomorrow, don’t worry. It’s not the end of the world.
• “Float like an octopus, sting like a clock.” – Mohammed Dali
• So sad to hear the news about Jeremy Clarkson. He’s still alive.
• Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

• Anyone remember the nineties, when you’d have to clean your mouse balls? I’m glad I don’t have pets any more.
• Thank you for calling SeaWorld. Your call may be recorded for training porpoises.
• “Shit just got real.” – God, creating the digestive system
• Once I listened to so much Eno I had to be taken away in an ambience.
• Lif is too short.

• Which end of a pregnancy tester are you supposed to poo on?
• ‘I’ve been expecting you, Mr. Bond.’ – James Bond’s mother giving birth
• God has a plan for you. It’s called ‘death’.
• I’m taking the Kick The Bucket Challenge to raise people’s awareness of Death.
• I’m still angry at my parents for not buying me expensive rollerblades. Cheapskates.

• I’m pitching a kids version of Snakes On A Plane. It’s called The Eels On The Bus
• Dear Sir/Madam, Your transgender operation was a partial success.
• Can anyone tell me what Lucasfilm’s sound system is called? Thx
• I never saw American History X, because I didn’t see any of the first nine.
• Infinity fascinates me no end.

All Jay-Z’s problems have been undone by his brother, Ctrl-Z