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Bachelor Now Eating All Meals Over A Sink

Lifestyle News: A bachelor has confirmed that he is now eating all his meals while leaning over a sink, eliminating the need for plates and doing the washing up altogether.

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Craig Morris, 27, says his diet – which consists mainly of crisps and supermarket sandwiches – is perfect for being consumed over the kitchen sink and that he hasn’t done the washing up in nearly a year, saving pounds every month on costly washing-up liquid bills and freeing up valuable minutes each day.

“By eating everything while leaning over a sink I can spend the time and money I save on other far more exciting things in my life – like masturbating, drinking lager and wondering where it all went so wrong,” said Morris.

“And it never gets boring – if I feel I’ve been staring at the kitchen sink too much while eating my breakfast egg and sausage triple sandwich I can mix things up a little, and eat my dinner chicken and stuffing sandwich while standing over the bathroom sink. My carefree bachelor life allows me to be dynamically flexible like that.”