Parliament To Be Relocated To Derelict Cannibal Rat Ship

Property News: In order to save money and boost public opinion, the whole of parliament will be relocated to a ship currently adrift off the British coast infested with cannibal rats.

The abandoned ship Lyubov Orlova has been missing since it cut adrift while being towed from Canada a year ago and is now drifting somewhere off the UK shoreline.

Experts say there are likely to be thousands of disease-ridden rats on board with no source of food except each other, making it the perfect new home – dubbed ‘Austerity Parliament’ – for both the House of Commons and House of Lords.

“With property prices in central London at a premium, it makes perfect sense to consolidate MP’s and Lords into one offshore location,” said one Westminster insider.

“The move to the ghost ship will allow them to focus on the important tasks at hand, such as running the country – and running for their lives, as they get chased by thousands of starved, rabid rats desperate to sink their teeth into some overfed, well-expensed political flesh.”