Who Has The Biggest Messiah Complex – Doctor Who Or Sherlock Holmes?

Both Doctor Who and Sherlock Holmes are worshipped by millions across the globe. But which hero is the one true Moffat? Sorry, “Messiah”? Robin Flavell finds out how they rate.

1. Miraculous powers

Both Holmes and Who pull off the seemingly impossible every week. But getting decent audience numbers for the recent shows was truly miraculous. Call it a draw.

HOLMES – One WHO – One

2. Has a beard

A studenty beard is an essential part of the messiah look. The always dapper Doctor is clearly a Mach 3 man. But was that an embryonic beard we spotted Sherlock sporting at the start of “The Empty Hearse”? Holmes, by a bristle.

HOLMES – One WHO – nil

3. Done a bit of carpentry

Sherlock has some “files” and makes the odd “cutting” remark (best carpentry puns we could come up with, sorry). But imagine the shelf-unit The Doctor could assemble with that sonic screwdriver! Comfortable win for Who.

HOLMES – Nil WHO – One

4. Associated with a fallen woman

The closest The Doctor gets to a fling with a Mary Magdalene figure is a kiss with River Song (it’s surely no coincidence that her name is an anagram of “snog”?). But she’s from an alternate reality, so that doesn’t count. Meanwhile, Sherlock’s big brain is addled by Irene Adler in the buff. No contest.

HOLMES – One WHO – Nil

5. Faithful disciples

Whereas Sherlock can only cite Watson and Hudson as possible apostles, Who has had literally dozens of loyal companions, including a robot dog made from what looks like a cereal packet. The Doctor is IN.

HOLMES – Nil WHO – One

6. Resurrected

In Doctor Who, for resurrection read regeneration. He’s so mad for it he can’t stop. Holmes has only come back from the dead once, although it was all done with mirrors, or body doubles, or stop motion plasticene models, or something. Who, by a regenerated head.

HOLMES – Nil WHO – One

7. Had a musical named after him

Neither Who nor Holmes has had a superstar musical written in their honour, but Who wins this round by inspiring The Timelords “Doctorin’ The Tardis” even though it was wretched, and contained samples of a Gary Glitter song.

HOLMES – Nil WHO – One

8. Name used as a curse

Only the saddest fanboy would stub their toe and yell out “Oh Doctor Who!”. Whereas even my nan has been known to come out with “No shit, Sherlock”. A sweartastic win for the sleuth.

HOLMES – One WHO – Nil

9. Played by Peter Cushing

Both Holmes and Who have been portrayed on screen by Peter Cushing. But Jesus hasn’t. So that’s… er…

HOLMES – One WHO – One JESUS- Nil

FINAL SCORE:

HOLMES: 5 WHO: 6!

So it’s a win for The Doctor! Let’s hope our time-travelling saviour celebrates in style back on his home planet of Galilee. Sorry, Gallifray.