13 Christmas Gifts For People You Hate

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In case you haven’t noticed it’s Christmas – a time when everyone is full of festive cheer and goodwill to all. Except that you’re not, and this time of year is actually a bit annoying.

Don’t worry – everyone’s favourite grumbling funny man, Andy Parsons shares your pain.

This Christmas you’ll probably have to buy presents for people you hate – but what? Luckily for you here are 13 awful present ideas to inspire your hate-shopping.

And when you’ve had enough of trudging around the high street spending money on people you hate, tune in to fellow grumpster Andy Parsons and his brand new stage show, Gruntled, featuring more logically rigorous, cutting edge comedy mixed with disappointedly crushed enthusiasm and politically inspired bemusements.

Andy Parsons Gruntled, Friday 10pm on Comedy Central


1. What says ‘Season’s Greetings’ better than ketchup? (via)

2. The perfect gift for someone with too many remotes and zero dignity. (via)

3. Some gifts can’t be wrapped. (via)

4. A delicious Pot Noodle.

5. Give the gift of art this Christmas. (via

6. Vinyl is so over, this is the next ‘hip’ retro music format. And the best song ever. (via)

7. If you think gift vouchers make a lazy present, just remember it could be worse. (via)

8. Hipster vests, circa 1971. So retro. So hip. So itchy. (via

9. Introduce a giant runny nose to your daily showering routine. (via)

10. This book by Piers Morgan. In fact any book by Piers Morgan. They all burn equally well. (via)

11. For the person who has everything (i.e. a house full of useless novelty crap) (via)

12. The perfect hi-tech gift to tell someone they need to drown out the sounds of their arse-trumpet. (via)

13. Whenever they check the time, they will gaze upon Pat or Phil. (via and via)

Andy Parsons Gruntled, Friday 10pm on Comedy Central.


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