Child Who Ticked ‘Yes’ To US Visa Nazi Question Fast-tracked For War Crimes

Immigration News:  A 13 year-old boy from Woking who, on a US visa application, accidentally ticked ‘yes’ to the question ‘between 1933 and 1945 were you involved, in any way, in persecutions involved with Nazi Germany or its allies?‘ has been formally charged with war crimes.

Thomas Wilkins submitted his visa application via the ESTA website, before travelling with his family to Florida for a Christmas holiday with relatives. He was arrested yesterday by Homeland Security officials at Orlando International Airport, then fast-tracked to Florida State Prison in Raiford. He is currently facing criminal charges for his role in the death of 6 million Jews.

“He’s normally very good on computers,” said mother Kathy Wilkins, 48. “We always get him to fill out forms online. He over-ordered the cucumbers with Ocado once, but up until now that’s been the only serious mistake he’s made.”

Despite assertions that Wilkins was unable to attend World War Two as he was born in 2000, US officials today repeated their ‘zero tolerance’ position on terror.

“If anyone, no matter who or what they are, admits to being involved in atrocities as serious as those committed by the Nazi regime, then make no mistake about it,” said one State Department spokesman, “justice will be done.”

“We just couldn’t believe it,” father Christopher Wilkins told journalists earlier this morning. “As soon as he handed over his passport they loudly arrested him for being a member of the Wehrmacht.” 

“People in the queue started spitting on him and shouting ‘shame’. One lady was screaming ‘you killed my great-grandparents, you evil bastard!’ Now we’re told he’s facing death by lethal injection.”

“He was really looking forward to SeaWorld.”