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Banks To Run America After Government Shuts Down

World News: Obama has told the American people there will be ‘no discernable difference’ when banks take over the running of the country after the shutdown of the US government.

A bitterly divided Congress has forced the US into a government shutdown that will put some 800,000 workers on unpaid leave and close museums, national parks and all branches of Starbucks in Washington.

“It’s business as usual in America,” President Obama said addressing the nation in a televised broadcast last night.

“Our good friends at the banks have kindly agreed to step in and keep things running just they way they want, like normal. If they feel the responsibility is too much, then they will get help from the coal and oil industry. The American people will notice no difference.”

“I just hope the provisional banking government remembers to put their interests before those of the people,” said one Whitehouse insider. “A rapid shift in government policy like that could spell disaster for the country.”