Most extraordinary complaint letter to the Royal Mail you’ll ever see

Full transcript:

Dear Mr Whitman:

I’m writing on behalf of the Gloucester branch who have raised a number of concerns with your recent behaviour towards our staff. Whilst we appreciate that your actions are in no way malicious and are meant in good humour, a number of complaints have been made. Recent events cited include jumping out from behind a bush and shouting “Beware the giant bees!”, repeatedly answering the door naked and asking if it’s “First Class” and opening the door whilst having a bread knife under your arm, wearing a ketchup smeared shirt and claiming you’d be[en] attacked by “crack addled Oompah Loompahs.”

As mentioned before we do understand that you mean no harm by your pranks but a number of our postal staff are now nervous about delivering to your address. As such we would kindly ask you to desist from your ‘surprises’ or we would be forced to review whether we could maintain our service to your property.

I hope you understand our situation and I look forward to your support on this issue. If you have any further questions please do not hesitate to contact myself [sic].


Steven Myatt
Customer Services

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