Exclusive

Ageing Internet Router Getting Tired of Being Switched On And Off Again

Tech News: A elderly internet router is getting really tired of being sworn at, dramatically unplugged then plugged back in again every time the wifi connection drops.

The router, bought by a family from Leeds sometime in 2003, says the almost daily angry ‘turning off and on again’ it receives is no longer a novelty and is starting to really get on its nerves.

“For nearly a decade I’ve provided these ungrateful bastards with almost flawless wifi,” said the router.

“Now, in the golden years of my life, I may be a little forgetful but I don’t see any need to be called every horrible name under the sun then have my plug pulled in such an aggressive manner.”

“Where is the  gratitude for the service I’ve given? Do I go around telling people about all the deviant porn you’ve searched for? No. Next time the connection drops, just give me a minute – show some respect, or dump me in the cupboard with all the other outdated gadgets you hang on to.”