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Man Sucking Filling Out Of Egg Sandwich Like No One’s Watching

Lunch News: An office in Manchester was brought to a halt yesterday, after a man started sucking the filling out of the sides of his sandwich like he was alone.

Junior Data Manager Rob Cress, 33, is thought to have taken the sandwich out of the office fridge at around half past one – then just minutes later started to loudly suck on the over-filled sandwich like he was on his own and that kind of behaviour was perfectly acceptable.

After the shock had sunk in, it’s thought some workers in the office had to be physically restrained from assaulting Cress, while others called 999 in a terrified panic.

“It was an awful experience, the sounds are still ringing in my ears,” said one shocked colleague.

“He was sucking the egg mayonnaise out of the sandwich as it fell out the sides. He seemed unaware we were all watching – in his head it was just him and the sandwich. He deserves to go on some kind of register so this never happens to anyone else he shares an office with”