North Korea To Nuke Itself Until ‘It Gets Respect’

Nuke News: North Korea has promised to carry out hundreds of further nuclear tests, until the entire country is a gigantic, barren, radioactive wasteland.

Despite UN warnings the country has promised ‘a barrage’ of nuclear explosions on it’s own soil, in a bid to show strength in the face of the ‘continued hostility’ of the US.

“The latest nuclear test was only the first action, with which we exercised as much self-restraint as possible,” the foreign ministry said in a statement.

“We will show no such self-restraint in future. Next time we will be letting nukes off all over the place – and when the country is nothing but a series of radioactive craters, we will nuke those craters – until the UN and America understands we cannot be ordered around like an obedient dog.”

The Vienna-based Comprehensive Nuclear-Test-Ban Treaty Organisation said the recent test was twice as big as the 2009 test, which means if North Korea continues testing at this pace it will have wiped itself off the face of the earth by 2019.