Depardieu shrugs, drinks wine, denies being French

French News:¬†Gerard Depardieu says he’s stopped being French, despite vast amounts of evidence to the contrary.

The Obelix of French cinema brandished his new Russian passport on Sunday before gorging himself at a lunch with pal President Putin. Shrugging and gesticulating through a boozy meal of cheese and sliced meat, he said “Buf! Maintenant, je suis un Russe.”

Today he has denied it is about tax, despite several public declarations – including an open letter to the Prime Minister in the French newspapers – that Hollande’s 75% tax plans were exactly the reason for his move, .

“What could be more French?” says international observer Philip Von Straut.

“This is the Frenchiest Depardieu’s ever been. You could be having dinner with Serge Gainsborg at a Jean Michel Jarre concert on the top of the Eiffel tower and it sill wouldn’t be more French. Nothing could be more French than a Frenchman suddenly declaring he is no longer French.”

“Let’s face it: Gerard is never going to cut it as a Russian. Far too jolly. The closest Putin gets to a smile is when he’s brushing his teeth.”

Story: Jasper Gibson