80% Of British Workers To Use Winter Vomiting Bug As Hangover Excuse

Virus News: Health experts have warned that most British workers will use the winter vomiting virus as an excuse for being really, really hungover this week.

“With reports that over 900,000 people have caught the norovirus since the summer you’d have to be stupid not to use it as an excuse for overdoing it on the sambuca shots and lager the night before,” said an NHS spokesman.

“Experienced drinkers will lay the foundations for the excuse the day before a big night out – casually mentioning the norovirus to colleagues, asking for a window to be opened because they ‘have a bit of a temperature’, or letting the boss catch them reading about it on the BBC news website.”

“What kind of boss will insist someone with severe, contagious diarrhea has to come into the office? It’s the perfect excuse – we expect cases to rise dramatically, especially on Fridays.”

Story: Simon Swatman