The 12 Sandwiches Of Christmas

Poke Challenge: Every year, around this time, supermarkets and coffee shops up and down the land attempt to liven up your lunch break and entice you in for a special Christmas-themed Sandwich.

Last December our favourite pop-up blog was Adam Best’s Christmas Sandwich Index – so we’ve teamed him up with Simon Balch to undertake a new, 12 day, gastronomic assignment – to review a festive sarnie a day.

Today we start with high hopes for Harrods’ turkey-based treat.


The Rules Of Engagement, by Adam Best

The Christmas Sandwich Index, or CSI, is a system of scoring how good, or otherwise, a Christmas Sandwich is, based on the following factors;

  • Festivity of Packaging
  • Filling
  • Overall taste


Scores for the filling take in 2 factors- RATIO and DEPTH of Filling

According to my theory, the perfect filling ratio is 4:3:2:1 of turkey, stuffing, sausage, cranberry sauce.

We have chosen these ingredients as they seem to be the staple components of the High Street Christmas Sandwich.

Therefore, for every “1″ of cranberry sauce, there should be “4″ of turkey and so on.

While we understand personal preference may be for slightly more sausage to stuffing, for example, I think that, in general, this ratio seems to fit what most people would consider proper.  The Ratio of filling is given a mark out of 10.

As for depth of filling, the thicker the better. More filling is better. This commands a score out of 10, where 1 is flimsy and 10 is buxom and satisfying.

The scores for Ratio and Depth are averaged, to give the Filling an overall score out of 10.

Festivity Of Packaging

Snowflakes, Santas, Snowmen, Penguins in hats stuff like that.

Festivity of Packaging commands a score out of 10, where 1 is not festive at all and 10 is Santa’s underpants.

Overall Taste

Speaks for itself. How nice does the bite feel on your tonguepiece?

What about the bread – is it doughy and delicious or white cackhandles?

Is the sandwich moist like a fresh lemon cake or dry like a polystyrene biscuit?

Is the turkey fresh breast or reformed, rolled, water-filled garbagebird?

Considering all the factors, how delicious is the sandwich?

Again, this is marked out of ten, 1 being the inside of a bin, 10 being the nipples of Venus his or herself.

Overall Score for the Sandwich

Marks for each category are totaled, then divided by three, giving each sandwich a score which will then be the definitive guide to the Christmas Sandwiches of 2012.


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