Winter vomiting bug blamed on ‘Made In Chelsea’
Virus News: An nationwide outbreak of norovirus, the winter vomiting bug, is believed to be linked to the watching of ‘Made in Chelsea,’ a new report in The Lancet warns.
The part-scripted reality series, popular amongst the 13 to 39 year-old teenager demographic, is alleged to cause severe and sudden projectile vomiting, diarrhoea and fever symptoms – sometimes within minutes of viewing.
Tests on the hundreds of patients afflicted so far have found that many immediately vomited on viewing some of the male stars of the show, but responded in a milder way – sometimes only with double incontinence – when confronted by the female characters.
The Lancet report says so far tests have proved inconclusive, but evidence points to the stronger reaction to the males is caused by them being ‘utter cunts.’
The NHS have issued advice on the ‘Made In Chelsea’ mutation of the bug, and have set up a special premium rate line.
If you think you are affected, and have projectile vomited on your plasma screen, turn it off immediately – because the smell of frying sick is never nice.
Story: Nick Tolson
NEXT >> 46 perfectly timed photographs