Streaking leper leaves trail of nakedness

UK News: Police in Leamington Spa are hunting an unidentified streaker who left a trail of body parts through the town during a naked spree last night.

Detective Constable Jon Shire, who is leading the investigation, is confident that they will catch the suspect: “We’ve got plenty to go on. Reports came in yesterday evening of a naked chap prancing along by the river heading into town, waggling his flapper at the swans and tourists. When we got down there we found a couple of toes and a bit of bum. I thought, ‘there’s more where that came from,’ and sure enough we found an ear and a man boob on the pavement outside Budgens.”

After closing the Parade this morning, investigators have also located an elbow, a chin, and an eyebrow. “We’re piecing things together,” says DC Shire.

“We have now a partial photofit we can show to the public. I ask them: Do you know this man? Do you recognise these toes, bum, boob, elbow, chin and eyebrow? He’s someone’s husband, someone’s brother, someone’s son. We’re not interested in pursuing a prosecution at this stage, we just want to help this poor man get himself together.”