Met Police accuse Loot of masterminding riots

Rioting News: The Metropolitan Police have today accused the classified newspaper Loot of playing a key role in last night’s rioting in London.

“The criminal element behind the recent unrest is aware we monitor social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter,” said Detective Chief Superintendent Lindsey Ham.

“Now we believe that they’ve resorted to taking out ads in classified newspapers to organise and facilitate their activities.”

A spokesman from the London Mayor’s office blamed the lack of scrutiny of classified ads as an inherited problem from the previous government.

“Due to the continual mishandling of this issue by Gordon Brown, we simply do not have the resources to allow officers to sit around reading the small ads in free newspapers.”

Others are calling for a complete ban on classified ads in the light of recent events.

“I appreciate papers like Loot are used by the majority of people to sell cars and stuff from the attic,” said M.P Norman Wall. “But those same adverts can be used to sell drugs to babies as well as gigantic tanks capable of crushing schools and shelling pensioners.”