Beyoncé gets braces
Celebrity News: The most stunningly perfect woman in existence, Beyoncé Knowles, has struck a victorious blow for corrective dental surgery today by proudly displaying her new braces to the world.
The bootylicious R’n’B beauty said that even though there was nothing technically wrong with her teeth, nor could there be, by dint of her unquestioned and supreme physical perfection, she was sending a message to millions of her teenage fans that ‘faces with braces’ can still have ‘grins that wins’.
The plight of teenagers suffering with braces was bought to the singer’s attention by her team of specially-trained advisers.
“While I have achieved levels of perfection not seen in earthly form since the time of the Pharaohs, that is not every child’s destiny,” Beyoncé winked.
“That’s why I decided to show my support for malformed and ugly kids everywhere and wear these ebony and gold braces for an entire day – up to and including dinnertime.”
Next week Beyoncé will have one perfect, unbroken leg placed in a cast for over an hour. Plans for a needless rubella injection remain unconfirmed.